


Blue Eyes

by DarkPoetByTheSea



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bisexual Magnus, Blind Alec, F/M, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Jocelyn teaches art, Luke handles English, M/M, Mrs Lightwood is Headmistress, Protective Izzy and Jace, Protective Magnus Bane, Valentine teaches maths and sciences
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-05-29 23:44:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6399070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkPoetByTheSea/pseuds/DarkPoetByTheSea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'My name is Alec Lightwood, I'm blind, hostile towards others and currently a closeted homosexual.'</p><p>Blindness has always been the hardest part about being Alexander Lightwood, in the current world of superficial narcissism, a fresh pair of eyes hold more value than most would think. For the first time, Alec is joining his sister and adoptive brother at the Lightwood owned Idris Academy. Alec learns that it takes more than just sight to make a friend, to be successful and to feel loved, plus with the help of the seemingly magnificent Magnus Bane, who needs sight anyways? </p><p>Characters from the Mortal Instruments series. All rights to the characters and related things go to Cassandra Clare.<br/>Mature content rating just to be safe</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Going in blind

'Being the blind kid wasn't what I chose, no one would choose it. Yet, for something that I didn't choose, it sure as hell comes across to others that I did. Sometimes it's the condescending tones, other times the radiant ignorance of what being blind is, and most frequently the common occurrence of whispering when I come near. These are the ingredients to be a rude jerk.

My name is Alec Lightwood, I'm blind, hostile towards others and currently a closeted homosexual.'

A soft tap on my shoulder interrupted my monologue of sorts that I was typing into my phone, having not expected it I sucked in a deep breath, cool air lingering on my lips before fluid was layered on with the flick of my tongue. I liked to think that Jace was light-footed because he is the only one that's able to get by without me hearing him, it has helped him in many situations when we were younger. A lot of those situations ending in me taking the blame for something that wasn't my fault, but I understood that our parents wouldn’t punish me, being essentially crippled was punishment enough in their eyes.

"Ah, sorry Alec, mom wanted me to tell you that you've got to go out with her, early tomorrow, to get your new uniform." Jace, my adoptive brother is a kind soul, an arrogant soul which hangs on a thread of his own self proclaimed beauty, but a kind soul regardless. He has always stood up for me, when I went to school for a parent teacher conference with him and dad, and the other kids made fun of me for wearing sunglasses and having a cane, he beat them up. Sure, violence never solves anything but it did make me happier knowing that I wasn’t the only one who would be hurting that day because of someone else's actions.

A nod was my main response, with a soft grumble rising from my chest. My mom, Maryse Lightwood, is a caring sweetheart, well she is somewhere under the surface which is guarded from a sarcastic dictator. I often wonder if my mother was given too much stress when she was younger, pressured into being a high achiever to please my grandparents, according to the few times I’ve heard mom mention her parents they valued their reputation enough to barely keep in touch nowadays, still living lives like a bunch of young adults in their late sixties. 

"You need to use your words man!" Jace called out as he walked out of my room, sealing the door behind as he left, confining me to my own little bubble of comfort. Being alone was a comfortable situation, I didn’t have to interact with anyone in the outside world and I knew what was happening in my room, there wasn’t any surprises or any giggles from girls who saw my struggled face when I couldn’t figure out what was happening in my surroundings. To conclude, my room is my sanctuary, for the next two days more, and then it’s off to Idris boarding school.  
I debated continuing writing my inner conflicts but felt that the moment had passed. Despite contrary belief, I can use a phone, quite well some would say. I have a basic iPhone which is supported with a Braille Bluetooth device, the average person would hate my device but I find it helpful, especially because I can listen back to what I've written. I didn’t really like the devices when I first used them, but like a child opening a new toy on Christmas, I soon learned how it worked and became excited at the thought of being like my siblings.

Placing my devices down, I decided to call it an early night, a day with my mother was a day that most needed weeks to mentally prepare for. Sadly, with her busy schedule, no one was subject to picking dates with her. She mainly just picks a date for everything and anything, treating herself like she is the president, with full routines that are precise and sharp. 

\---------------------------------

"Alexander, posture." The collected tone from behind said with scolding intentions.  
I straightened my back as a kind older woman measured me for a blazer that this new school stated was "mandatory and without exception". The only reason I knew this rule well enough was because my mom created it, as the headmaster of the school she ensured that she had brought in so many of her own policies and standards that a lot of the staff at the time were fired for not meeting them. One thing I have somewhat inherited from my mother is that I can distance myself from new people so it doesn’t matter as much when I don’t wish to continue our interactions, or completely remove them from my life altogether.

I was being transitioned from home-schooling to high schooling at the same boarding school that my family practically live in. And to say the least I was concerned, I knew that Izzy and Jace would be there but I didn't want to be a burden on them. They have friends and don't need their brother constantly hounding them because he can't see, to which I’m sure they’d argue that I am not being a burden. But deep down I always think that they’ve felt that, never enough to let it sway how they feel about me, but enough to consider it. 

Mom snapped her fingers in the air, catching my attention "Alexander, you're blind, not deaf. Turn around." She truly was meant to lead, perhaps as a commander, police chief or the first female president in another life, but for now head of Idris Boarding School would have to suffice. I had yet to encounter her as a headmaster, and part of me was nervous that this new school wouldn’t have students that loved my mom as much as we three children do. 

I never argued with her, at least not anymore. She's had a lot to deal with in the past couple of years, after my dad's passing she was left to be a single mother to two, and that other handicapped child. I think of how lucky I am to have been kept after my dad passed, she didn't need the extra stress of their firstborn being blind, yet she took the stress on because she loves me. A concept that I’m sure only being her blood allows for.

Once the small lady had finished with her measurements, she came out from the back with one that was just slightly bigger than the snuggest of fits, she had to find one big enough for my shoulders, from what I’ve heard I’m quite tall for my age. I tried it on and twirled like a ballerina sarcastically for my mother to see, she approved after a moment of thought and we were out in no time. Truly my mother doesn’t like to waste a single moment on frivolous conversations with employees at any establishments we enter.

"How is, Isaac, was it?" I chuckled gently, Isaac is the boy from a group my mom made me join in hopes of me gaining some friends. We didn't get along but pretend to be acquaintances to please our families, I believe he has Autism, it makes his social skills a little rusty but better than half of the others there. Most were depressed, and despite having overcome depression myself and knowing just how they feel, I found it hard to talk to them as they just didn’t want to talk. Or, they could have and I was simply unable to read their expressions without any voice to listen to.

"Fine, I think he went to Spain with his family this summer." I replied as I held my stick out, one arm locked with my mom's as we walked along the sidewalk, the steam of fresh bagels catching my senses we passed Bagel Betties. I used to go there with Izzy for Saturday lunch, but then her schoolwork and clubs all began to pile up, allowing her little time to do what she really wanted to when she isn’t in school. I enjoyed when Izzy and I went out for lunch together, it gave us time to connect on a deeper level, she is to this day, the only person who knows that I’m attracted to males. She did wonder how I knew what I was attracted to, y’know because of being unable to see anyone, and I replied instantly that I’ve always felt drawn to males. Females make great companions, and I find myself relating to their struggles and wanting to break down those glass ceilings that affect them. But, with males, males are both so familiar yet so new.

"You'll have to send him an invite to visit during your semester breaks. And now that the topic of school is out there, I want to ensure that you're happy about being enrolled in Idris," I tilted my head with a kind smile, I was waiting on this talk. The sex one hasn’t come from her, Jace taught me that stuff after he was told it. Yet, I’ve probably had more talks about safety and general well-being because of my disability.

"I am more than happy to be joining the normal people in Idris, I've been learning about the campus since Izzy and Jace enrolled, and I know it's only two years but it's better than none." I said with my smile faltering slightly, an old family friend Hodge was my teacher, he too was blind and bestowed a lot of wisdom and learning onto me. Although, a lot of the time he wasn’t the nicest of men, he was firm on teaching me about how the world works, and whilst my past is nothing like that of Matt Murdoch’s, it certainly hasn’t stopped me being Daredevil for almost every Halloween the past few years.

"I...I worry about this Alexander. You've been home-schooled since you were a boy and I don't know if the stresses of regular school will be something you can handle" She murmured as I heard the traffic lights change and allow us to cross with the assistance of the “green man”. That, that was the real mystery to me though, colours. I wasn’t fortunate enough to have seen colours like everyone else who goes blind, so a lot of the time I can’t piece together a lot of things fully.

"I'll be honest, I'm nervous. But nerves are there to keep me safe, without them I'd resemble Jace." My mom and I were often the two people who didn't seem to get along always, but managed to go full circle and get back to stage one of the friendship all over again. To reiterate it, we never argued, we just sometimes strayed from sharing what it was we were doing at the time because one of us has irritated the other to the point that it’s safer to distance than to destroy our relationship. 

Her hands grip intensified lightly, a soft sigh falling from her lips "You promise me one thing," I replied with a nod "Please don't encourage Isabelle and Jace in their antics, it took me the entire year to foil their attempts at having parties." She said with dread in her voice, causing me to chuckle, she hated their love for parties. I shared this hatred, but for some different reasons. Parties were the epitome of dreadfulness, they are filled with people who are 9 times out of 10, drunk and trying to either dance, sleep around or make out. At least, that’s what I’ve taken from the stories that Jace and Izzy have shared with me. 

I heard the noise of a car pull in-front of us, my mom opened the door, a Bing being my indication that it was time to go home. So, like a good boy, I climbed inside of the car and sat in the plush leather seat that was slightly warm, with a small smile on my face, I could smell the ashy cologne that Cal, our driver wore because it made his wife happy.  
“Hi Cal!” I said in a happy tone, Cal and I have been friends since I was younger, he was my only form of transport for a long while. Mom and dad didn’t feel comfortable with sending me in a cab, and they both knew Cal when he was a driver of dad’s superior. So dad offered him a job that wouldn’t be pressing and take up all of his time, and Cal has been with us since.

“Hey kiddo, Carla has been asking for you, she wanted to let you feel some of the new crafts she’s been working on” I smiled at this comment, Carla was Cal’s wife, she had retired a couple of years back and spent a lot of her time either watching game shows like “So you want to be a millionaire?” –and completely acing most of them- or making crafts. I hadn’t seen her in a short while because of the summer break, and mom having family plans for most of it.

“I’ll have to come in the next semester break” I replied with a soft frown, not liking that I was most likely disappointing Cal and Carla, who loved having company. I never asked much about their life, feeling that it isn’t my place to ask, but they were always keen on sharing how they never got to see their children much. Something along the lines of, their children’s children and jobs meant that visiting was difficult.

“Carla will be happy to hear that, she’s not finished her big project yet anyhow” He said with a small chuckle, I liked their relationship. He never quite enjoyed when he had to help her with crafts, but he did enjoy when he could listen to her go on and on about how much she liked to do it. And that, for me, is what I consider relationship goals. 

\---------------------------------


	2. Road tripping

I truly cannot think of anything more punishing to a human than packing, here I sat in the midst of a crossfire, Izzy throwing one shirt at me and my mother throwing another, declaring that I'd need more clothes for the weekends and after school events. Truly speaking I had no intentions of attending those, I personally just wanted some time to explore alone, to find my own little area for peace and quiet. 

"Alec, please just try to be interested. I can't have two poorly dressed brothers at school!" Izzy teased, knowing just how to bait Jace who on an instant was shoving his head into the room. Again, with that sneakiness of a fox that made me jump slightly in my skin when he made his presence known close behind me without any real warnings. 

"Leather jackets are cool." He mumbled throwing a sock at Izzy who smacked it away, I chuckled ever so softly as they proceeded to behave like children by sticking their tongues out at each other and blow cherries, I’m aware that I’m the eldest brother, but sometimes I truly feel like I should have a wizard length beard because of how contrasting our behaviours are.

"Isabelle has Magnus responded to you yet?" I had heard briefly of Magnus from Izzy, she'd mentioned something about his attractiveness and how it wasn't fair that he was like that, or at least it was to that degree. Apart from that, this was the first I was hearing about him in a long time, Izzy was just a little too busy to find time to share details on her friendships with me. If she wasn’t doing homework, she was dancing, if she wasn’t dancing, she was singing, if she wasn’t singing, she was pretending she knew how to cook. 

"Not yet, he's probably just waking up now. He likes to sleep in" She mumbled, the sounds of typing on her iPhone clear, she was most likely sending Magnus another message. I scoffed slightly as I finished sliding my fingers across the watch on my wrist, it was 1:45 PM. Who sleeps until 1:45 PM?!

"Well, he has to be over here before we finish loading up the car or he'll have to make his own way there," Mom said in a tone that edged on snappy "Speaking of which, Jace, carry your bags and mine to the car please" I sometimes feel bad for Jace, he has to do a lot of manual jobs now that dad isn't here anymore, I wish I could do the jobs but I just make a mess of things when I try something new. 

Isabelle's phone notified her of a message -with her obnoxious text tone that just screamed girly- to which she called out "It's okay, he's in a cab now!" She hollered as I felt a softer shirt cover my face, followed by a soft giggle from the culprit.

"Good, maybe this early arrival will influence his arriving to classes." I sniggered under my breath, she was such a headmaster at heart that it was almost funny to think of how her mind must work. Thus far, Magnus sounded like an unprepared person, I don’t think that we’ll have many moments of contact if he is as bad as he is being painted to be. However, despite all I’m hearing about him, I’m still going to give him the chance to make his own first impression because I could just be hearing some of the things that are a minor detail in his personality.

"Alec, can you get the snacks ready? I'll finish your packing," I sighed at her request, I'm not too good at making snacks "Well, I'll make the food then!" She chirped, to which I'm sure I've never heard my mother reply faster before. Izzy is the baby of our family, and a lot of the time she tries to act older than she is, this resulting in her trying to be the family cook. I’ve never quite followed why she feels the need to care for us in this manner, but she does regardless, and we all wish that she wouldn’t despite how much we love her. 

"No Isabelle. You help Alec and I'll finish the food." I released the breath I held feeling relieved, I love my sister, but she cannot cook to save her life. Plus, our mom is a woman of many talents, cooking being one of her main ones, she has a knack for exotic recipes that sound horrible but manage to taste better than anything I could have been served at a 5-star restaurant. 

"Okay mom! Now, Alec if I don't see you in anything other than those jeans and t-shirts, then I swear I'll dress you myself." Izzy said in advance, knowing fully well that I would avoid all of the clothes she picked for my own comfort. I never saw the purpose in fancier clothes, I can't see how I look so why should I bother with anything that isn't comfy? Isabelle knew this but still liked to choose the clothes I'd wear, her love for fashion being too strong to realise I don't care about how I look.

A minuscule upturn at the corner of my lips began when Izzy hummed, she would do that when we were younger, whenever she felt conflicted. It raised a lot of concern as to why she was humming, as much as I may be distant to others I'm very involved in the emotions of my siblings. Izzy especially, she's my big sister sometimes and I'm her big brother others. 

"Alec, do you want to take dad's bracelet?" I tensed at the shoulders when Izzy broke her humming, I hadn't really worn that bracelet because it made me sad to think that he really was gone. Dad was strict too, but he was always there to keep us happy, and he managed to help me feel like less of a freak. 

I nodded my head a few times, wanting to have it with me. We all have some of dad's things, and I'm sure we all have a little ache in our hearts when we think of what having them means. 

I could somewhat hear the sound of Jace pulling his cases down the stairs. Cal was probably downstairs waiting for us, I had a Braille card for he and Carla in my top drawer that I needed to give as thanks for their barbecue earlier in the summer.

After I had finished packing the smaller things I'd take in my rucksack, I moved over to grab the letter "Izzy, can you make sure I have everything in here?" I asked placing the bag on my bed.

She didn't complain as she walked over, rummaging through the bag and stating what she saw. When I was content I had everything I thanked her and walked to the door of my room, taking my favourite cane and using it to walk down the extravagant stairs of our family home. 

I was in the middle of walking outside when I heard the sound of a car door behind slammed close down the driveway, not the most pleasant of sounds, but few loud sounds are. I moved my way to the driveway "Hey Alec, is everyone almost done?" Jace asked lifting a case and shoving it into the back of the car.

"Izzy was finishing my stuff, mom is getting the snacks." I said with a smile.

"Oh hey Magnus, glad you made it on time" Jace said, alerting me to the presence of the Magnus Bane.

He didn't speak for a moment, making it hard to figure out where he stood in the driveway "Hello" Was all he said, diagonally across from me. His voice itself was deep, but the tone was lighter, creating an odd juxtaposition as to what he was feeling. 

I briefly mumbled a "Hi" As I walked around the car, with the card still in my hand. I picked up the cologne Magnus wore, it was musky and smelled faintly pleasant, I'd tapped his foot with my cane and murmured an apology as I got to the front of the car.

"Hey kiddo, ready for the new school?" Cal asked with a smile, I could tell because of how the smile affected his mouth movement, that's how I knew a lot of people were smiling, Magnus wasn't which was a little intimidating. 

"I was working on my own craft of sorts and it took a little longer than expected, but it's a card for the barbecue you and Carla invited me to. I'm sorry I couldn't go but I wanted to thank you for the invitation." I had spent the week before the barbecue trying to convince myself to go, but the environment was new and therefore nerve-wracking. 

"Alec, you didn't have to make this. But Carla will be so excited to get a card from you, be sure to come visit as soon as you can" Cal said with the friendly tone that I'd grown up with, I'd never really met my grandparents from either side of the family, so Carla and Cal are like the grandparents I've never had.

With a content smile I moved back to the back of the car, this one was longer than the usual car. Not long enough to be a limo, but long enough to not be a regular car. 

"Izzy, Magnus is here!" Jace had called into the house, taking another bag and placing it into the trunk. Magnus was very quiet, and that is coming from someone who verges on being a mute when I'm not with my family. 

"How are you two?" Magnus spoke for the second time, he wasn't speaking looking at Jace, I could tell his gaze was on me judging the volume of his voice. Jace gave a general reply before he wandered backinside the house to get my case, I felt bad I couldn't do it myself.

I couldn't tell if Magnus had moved or not, so I replied "I am okay, how are you?" To which he responded rather quickly.

"I'm magnificent. Some people call me that," That earned him small smile, mainly because of how Jace it sounded. Magnus was smiling too, I heard it in his voice.

"Why do they call you that?" I asked with some disbelief evident in my tone, he chuckled at that. His chuckle wasn't loud enough to be a laugh, but definitely edged on one.

"Because he's a pretty boy who has fun with all" Jace chimed in as he exited with my cases, rolling them across and then placing them into the trunk. I'm assuming that 'fun' is Jace's way of saying that Magnus sleeps around. 

Magnus sniggered "Well, I've never quite known why anyone calls me that. But I don't shy away from the nickname." He said still smiling, that made me a little more comfortable around him, because I highly doubted that he was smiling in any form other than friendliness "Jace, you make me sound like a player. Need I remind you of how many girls followed you around last year?" He said taunting Jace, who was trying to make noises loud enough to block all of the names Magnus stated. 

"Magnificent Magnus Bane, how delightful to see you!" I looked over to Izzy who was using some form of British accent to sound what I'd consider snobby "Isabelle, it's been far too long!" I held in a snort at the equally snobby reply, hoping that this was some form of joke and that the two of them weren't actually those people when together.

"How was your internship?" Izzy asked as I'm sure they began to hug, I wonder if theirs is a romantic relationship? "It went okay, pretending that I wasn't able to fire any of the people I worked with was a little unfortunate. But I learned a good deal more than I already do about my parents' company." His tone was genuinely pleased with what he said, and I felt happy for him being happy. 

"You better get me a place this year." She muttered darkly, earning a small laugh from Magnus "Of course I will." He said as if there was no possible answer other than that. I heard the heels of my mother as she walked to the door, closing it behind her.

"Everyone in the car, we are officially done. All is right, let's leave before I want to bring any more." I used my hands across the side of the car to find the handle to open the door.

"Allow me Alexander." Magnus said as I neared him, hearing a familiar click of the door opening. I was unsure of what to say when I felt his hand guide my lower back to the door. I tried to avoid being too long by essentially throwing myself in and taking the seat by the right window. 

Everyone else got in, and I had sussed that Magnus had chosen to sit in the back of the car with me whilst Jace and Izzy were in the middle and mom was up front with Cal, each section separated with those soundproof windows. 

My mom used the small little microphone in the front "Okay, we're up for a long drive but will stop at around 7 for some dinner" She said briefly, treating us all like her little soldiers, something which I'm sure she'd probably like to be for her.

"Are you excited to start?" Magnus spoke up after the car had pulled out of the long driveway, turning my head I looked in his general area with a small smile to be polite.

"Somewhat. I haven't been in any other kind of schooling beside home-schooling, so it's probably going to take a lot of getting used to." Did I sound nervous? I feel like I sounded nervous, and I can't quite place the reason why I do. Magnus's presence was both familiar yet so new, Jace and he had a similar level of confidence but where Jace came across as obnoxious, Magnus didn't. 

"I'm sure you'll enjoy it. You'll find some way to avoid all of the stares I'm sure," He said causing my head to tilt slightly in confusion, he must have saw the change as he added "People will stare Alexander, you're attractive. People can't help their natural responses to seeing such beauty" I could feel the heat rushing to the tips of my ears, Magnus found me attractive? Surely I mistook him.

"S-Sorry, did I mishear? It sounded like you said I was--"

"Beautiful? No. You heard right, you're stunning." Magnus was smiling, I wondered what his smile was like? Maybe it was prominent and big, or smaller but just as effective? "I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable. I just prefer to be truthful about my thoughts" I wasn't uncomfortable, just surprised that anyone found me to be attractive, the inability to see isn't something people wish for in their dream lover.

"I'm not uncomfortable, thank you for the kind words. I like your voice." The last part was in a mumble, but he heard it, in reply when I placed my head against the seat he tapped my foot with his own. And then I had fallen asleep.

\---------------------------------

Isabelle had told me a while back about her brother, his blindness, his gayness (my luck) and showed me pictures she had of him. Truth be told, Alexander Lightwood was possibly the most beautiful male I'd ever seen. He was just slightly shorter than I, with a slender athletic build and a strong jawline that looked sharp to the touch.

And I wanted him, not to use and abuse like previous partners in my life. No, I wanted to take Alec on dates and show him what a treasure, he doesn't know, he is. Watching as he tried to understand why I complimented him. It was such a gorgeous sight, his own unawareness about how handsome he is makes me want to lock him up in a tower and throw away the key. 

He had fallen asleep a little after we had our short conversation, and I couldn't complain, his face was just there to behold, to take in all the beautiful details of the eldest Lightwood child. How he is so unaware of how attractive he is is completely beyond me. But, it will make wooing him a lot more satisfying than, lets call them "experienced daters". 

I had sent a few texts back and forth to Isabelle who sat in the section in front of us, briefly letting her know that I was to marry her brother at the next full moon and all that sappy mush. 

'How are you two doing back there?' 

'I'm well, Alexander is asleep' 

'Remember when I tried to set you guys up when we first met? Alec was just figuring out how FaceTime worked and you couldn't stop staring at him, it was hilarious' 

'Ah, I remember, he truly meets and goes above expectations of his appearance in person

'Haha well don't say that to his face, he'll die of embarrassment' 

'I have a small question for you Isabelle' 

'Which is?' 

'What would you say if I told you that I wish to date your brother?' 

'I would have to ask which one? ;D' 

'Alexander of course.' 

'Magnus, I can't tell if you're kidding or not?' 

'I'm very much serious, Alexander is incredibly sweet' 

'I'm squealing, but before you get serious about this, we kind of need to talk about Alec and what it means if you're serious about him, especially after the last douche he "dated"' 

'I'll respect your wishes to speak first, despite having the perfect opportunity to make out with him in the back of the car right now' 

I'll be honest. I was a little jealous that someone else had dated Alec, I didn't want to come across as majorly possessive over someone who I'd only heard of last year and met this morning, but at this point I think I am.

'Still my brother Bane.' 

I chuckled under my breath at that, a lot of the time I'm told that I can be too forward with my feelings, but realistically I just don't like to waste time, especially on the past. What's the point in looking back at the mistakes and former experiences of the past when I'm able to live in the present and create new ones?

Looking at Alec was like looking at the sun, it was dangerous to stare for too long but it stood out too brightly to be ignored. And if it meant I lost my sight too by staring at this sun, well, I'd be happy to have my last sight be that of Alexander Lightwood that's for definite.

\---------------------------------

When I woke up, I felt groggy. My head was a little light and I almost felt like just going back to sleep. That was until I felt the hand on my arm, gently rubbing against the exposed flesh at the bottom of my sleeve.

"Sleep well?" Magnus's tone was again low yet high at once. I didn't want to flinch out of place and move away from his touch, because his hands felt so warm.

"Sorry" I mumbled bowing my head down slightly.

"What for?" I wanted to think of something witty to say but nothing came to mind.

"For sleeping so long. I'm not the best company." I was feeling less uncomfortable around Magnus the longer we were in the same area.

"You have been pleasant company, I enjoy being in some silence anyhow, it was just nice to be in silence with someone else" Magnus said with his hand giving my arm another little squeeze before removing it. The loss of cold making the car feel as warm as the Sahara.

"Well, if you ever want to hang out with someone silent, then I'm here for that!" Why did I say that? And the added enthusiasm in the end made it sound that much more creepier.

However, instead of an awkward silence, Magnus chuckled "I'll be sure to do just that." He said before the little radio in the car cut him off.

"Okay Lightwoods and Bane. We are half-way there, we're getting some dinner at the diner during our break and then we're back on the road.

I hadn't truly realised how long the drive to New York was going to be. Illinois isn't the furthest state in America from the big apple, but sadly the 11 hour drive had only just reached the 5 hour mark.

"I wonder where we'll be eating." Magnus commented as I heard the familiar click of the door once again, he slid out quickly and held the door open.

I moved across the car carefully, my cane in one hand and my confidence in another. I placed one foot out when I felt Magnus's hand take my own, helping me out of the car. I climbed out and secured my footing before walking forward with my now extended cane.

"Thank you" I mumbled softly, I didn't quite understand why it was that Magnus was so helpful, but I appreciated the help. It didn't feel like he was patronising or mocking me by offering it, it was the kind of genuine help that Izzy and Jace offered when they saw me struggling. I tend to hate the fact that I'm so useless in certain aspects of life, like baking. I cannot bake at all, ingredients are hard measure and I can't tell if something has been cooked too much or too little. Apparently that's something Izzy and I both share.

"Cal, we'll be in the diner over there" I assumed my mother was pointing as Cal responded with an okay, driving off to refill the tank at the gas station nearby, thanks to the gas smelling so oddly pleasurable I could tell he wasn't going far.

"Alec, come talk to your loving sister!" Izzy yelled, I snickered and responded with "When I get one I will." To which a firm punch to the shoulder was her response, it felt fair that that was my punishment for taunting her.

She took my arm and began to lead me across what I hoped was a safe road "What's up?" I asked her trying to remain casual as if she hadn't just pulled me away from everyone else like children do on the playground.

"I wanted to know how you're feeling," She said with a kind tone that was clearly hinting at more than just a simple pleasantry "I know it's been a while since, well him, but I wanted to know where you're at" Her timing was certainly interesting but not inappropriate.

I shrugged my shoulders softly as some cars zoomed by behind us "I don't know, it wasn't really anything worth remembering. We talked, he said he liked me and I felt the same, and then he just started being an ass after a while and I left him, now I don't have negativity in any form that isn't myself. I think I'm doing well, why'd you ask?"

"No reason, just, you're going to be the new kid and all the boys will either want you or want to be you!" Izzy chirped, and I truly didn't have the heart to remind her that no one wants to be blind, she never thought about my blindness and that made me happy, that she didn't even mention it because she felt it just as normal as being able to see.

"Isabelle, tell your brother that he has to stop insulting my hair." I snorted at the sound of Jace tormenting Magnus from behind us, I can't tell who I'd feel sympathy for because they seemed equally matched in a lot of aspects.

Slowly but surely we all got into the little diner that my mom was smitten with. The food smelled nice and the old-school music that softly echoed throughout the diner, we were greeted by Greta, who sounded kind as she got us a table for six.

"What's your favourite food?" I tilted my head towards Magnus when I'd heard him speak to me, I narrowed my eyes in thought, wondering what was my favourite food. I decided to be simple and pick a basic food that wasn't over complicated "French fries. You?"

Magnus seemed like he had finer tastes, so when I heard his response it made me chuckle "Big Mac" to which he seemed to join my small moment of laughing "Hey, we can share a meal, I normally don't want all of my fries anyhow" He said as I glanced at him with a soft smile.

"Okay, Alec you're in first" Mom said as we reached the booth we were given. I slid in carefully, being accompanied by Izzy and Jace to my right. Across the table Magnus sat beside my mom, his foot tapping against mine as he got seated, to which I playfully kicked back. Why I felt the urge to kick his foot I don't know, when his response was delayed I worried I'd hit him hard. My panic was ended when his shoe tapped mine, properly beginning a game of footsies.

\---------------------------------

We'd just finished our meal, Izzy and Alec both oddly eating salads, whilst the rest of us had burgers. Normally I'm more of a sushi person, but burgers are better than salads.

The best part about this meal however, wasn't the food. It was the continuous game of footsies with Alec, his cute little smile when Izzy was accidentally caught in the crossfire, making my heart melt.

Part of me wishes that I could remove Ragnor from my dorm just to have Alec come stay with me. But that wouldn't end well, he'd never be allowed to sleep alone.

I wonder where he'll end up. Maybe he'll get a special room because of his blindness, or perhaps just a new roommate? Ragnor may move if I ask nicely, then again, blackmail is also a valid method.

We had packed ourselves back up and I was blessed with the view of Alec Lightwood walking to the car. Izzy hit me pretty hard though, she's a good sister like that, ready to set up boundaries the second that things start, I'd be angry if she wasn't like that. Jace on the other hand, he'd probably try to fight me, not because he's against his brother and I, but because that's his little (older) brother. There's a clear closeness with the two of them, really there's a closeness with all three of them when I think about it.

I buckled myself into the same seat as before, closing the door behind me. What to talk about, what to talk about...I tend to fail being subtle according to everyone I know, so when I bluntly asked Alec "Are you seeing anyone?" I wasn't surprised when his glasses almost flew off out of shock.

He spluttered an adorable and meek "No" But didn't blush, which honestly was a pleasant sight, the cliched blushing bride was far too commended for being embarrassed at things that mature adults could handle. I smiled as he returned the question, too polite to drop a conversation immediately.

"Well, I escaped Satan herself last year, so I think I'm lucky to say that I am." His face didn't exactly fall, but there was a small change that I couldn't pin down in Alec's behaviour. Trying to keep the ball rolling I asked him what he wanted to do after high school, his response made my heart melt "Well, I want to teach children who are blind. I know it's not helping everyone by doing so, but I remember how hard it was to learn when I was young. Hodge was strict and I learned because I had to, I want to teach kids in a way that builds them to feel just as confident in themselves as anyone else does." He sounded so driven by his aims, I would end up becoming a big head at my parents design company, but Alec, Alec had dreams of making a real difference. It just fell onto the ever growing list of reasons why I'm claiming Alexander Lightwood as my own.

"Izzy said your parents run that big fashion company, uhm," He seemed to be raking his head for a conclusion to the sentence, but when he fell short he looked in my general direction apologetically "I'm sorry, I can't remember the name" Why he felt the need to apologise for that, I'll never know, but he is giving me cavities with his sweetness.

"Flamm, stupid name right?" I constantly hated the name they chose for the company, it was like they wanted to be seen as airheads or something, flamm, a combination of fashion and glam, with an added 'm' because they thought it was unique "Yeah my parents own Flamm, want me to take over the company when they retire. So everything I take is revolved around running a business. It's pretty cool, to think that they want me to run it." Alec was a good listener, probably a side effect of being blind, but he seemed to hang onto every word I spoke, the corners of his lips curling up to encourage me to continue speaking, and who was I to decline the cutie?

"I take Business Studies, Accountancy, Home Economics, Art and English. What about you?"

"So far I believe I'm taking English, Trigonometry, History, Law and Psychology." He seemed to be proud of his choices, he probably put a lot of thought into them, thinking about what he was best at and how it would help him go to a good school. So far, college isn't something I'm considering because of how old my parents are getting. I can't let Chairman Meow go hungry, now can I?

"If you don't mind my asking, why are you and Camille no longer," He seemed to struggle for the right word, using his index fingers in a movement pressing both of them together "an item.."

Part of me hoped he was asking because he cares, but then I had the sudden realisation that Alec can't see me. I'm not very modest in my appearance because I put in the effort to look good, but none of that really matters with Alexander, he is judging me on my personality and voice. Two things that people either love or hate about me.

"Camille and I, were doomed from the start. She liked me because of my parents, and because I let her experience things she can't afford alone. And, despite using me I can't blame her for the end of our relationship. Truly I asked Camille to date me because I was bored, I wanted her to make me feel something that I've never fully felt before, true devotion." For a blind guy, Alec sure knew how to look at someone like he wasn't. His reaction was soft, sympathetic to a cause that he truly didn't know.

"I'm sorry to hear that Magnus. Sometimes you just have to wait for the person who sees all your flaws and loves them regardless." He then sniggered, I wondered why he seemed to laugh afterwards and believe me, I would have questioned him about it but he saved me that task "I can't see anyone's flaws." The sentence itself was a throwaway one, but the tone, the tone was filled with hurt, the tone was filled with an ever growing sorrow for something that wasn't his.

I couldn't resist placing my hand firmly on Alec's knee, giving it a soft squeeze to support him "You're better than the whole lot Alexander, you can't see the things that turn most into bad people. You are a fresh perspective on an over-analysed society, and I eagerly await more of your viewpoint." His smile was so infectious, after his few moments of coming to terms with my physical contact, he seemed to truly be content with my reply.

"Magnus, that was really ki--

"Guess what bitches, we're about to get snacks. I swear to the Angel, if any of you take one of my damn Hershey kisses I'll decapitate you" Isabelle Lightwood truly is a poetic soul, it's a wonder why she doesn't have a partner currently. Most of the boys who are drawn in by Isabelle's beauty are given the shock of their lives when she could throw them over her shoulder in seconds. It's a family trait of the Lightwoods thus far, Alexander still has to show me that side.

"Izzy, you are terrifyingly loud." I sniggered and nodded in agreement, Isabelle's eyes fell to my hand on Alec's knee and had what I consider an angered excited spasm. Her face flickered between rage and joy, and her fists was clenched but held high in celebration.

"Can you lot keep it down?" Jace grumbled like the angsty teenager he is. Isabelle and I both seemed to just want to gang up on him for complaining, both seeming to hit the exact same branch on the exact same tree.

"We apologise. Don't tell Clary on us, she'll be so disappointed." Izzy cried out, chuckling as she saw Jace's brow lower. Poor Jace liked Clary, but Clary was too busy dealing with family drama last year to acknowledge this. And so Jace had been pining over her since then, Alec seemed confused as we spoke of Clary, she's probably not been mentioned to Alec yet.

"Clary Fairchild, our ginger haired princess will protect us from the grouchy Jace troll." I added with a small grin at Jace's evident annoyance.

"I'd rather be a troll than a Warlock, seriously who the hell knows Biology well enough to pass the course before it was available to us?" Jace wasn't good at comebacks.

"I studied hard, got help from a tutor and passed with flying colours." I tried a wink on Alec, who of course would be immune to the signature wink. I feel like a god thrown to earth with none of his powers. I'm the Asian Thor, it's official.

"That's impressive" Alec murmured as Jace and Izzy got caught up in an argument over who liked Clary and who liked Simon. Ultimately I ended up flipping the switch on the separation window, not wanting to hear their argument any further, especially when this beauty was in my presence.

"Please don't leave me," I wanted to attack this boy with a barrage of love but he wasn't finished speaking "You have no idea how hard it is to get someone to shut them up" The added laugh made the whole thing so endearing.

"Well, I'll be sure to stick around you. Just to make sure that Jace and Izzy don't cause problems, call me Magnus, human bodyguard." I knew I wasn't funny, hell, Alec probably knew I wasn't funny, but he was a kind enough person to give me a small laugh. Those kind of people are the thoughtful ones, who think about others far more than they should.

"Would you prefer me to call or flash a symbol in the sky when I need help?" I moved over a little closer to the eldest Lightwood.

"Well, the call would be most practical. I'm in need of a number first though Alexander." He took a short moment to realise I was serious, spluttering out his phone number awkwardly as I saved the contact with a sneaky picture that I took after I'd got the number. I considered taking some more, but that borders on stalking.

"So, what is the school like? You've been going for the same amount of time as Izzy right?"

"Well, no, I started before Izzy, she and the others in our little group of misfits are all younger than me. I'm in the same year as you." I wondered when his birthday was, what if our star signs weren't compatible? How does one ask about another's birthday without weirding one out? You ask his sister. That's how, but later.

"That's cool, I don't really know anyone else my own age. I'm normally the older one or just the youngest one. When's your birthday? Mine's is in September!" He sounded jovial, how was it he was so quiet beforehand? Was it his shell?

"I'm in December. I was held back a year in pre-school so I'm still oldest in our group. Mwaha, my throne will never be taken."

"My attempts at ending your tyranny have been defeated, I surrender" Alexander had a sense of humour, it was as if someone created him in a computer.

\---------------------------------

Magnus was not what I expected, he broke away from the intimidating side I encountered earlier. He was incredibly confident, it radiated off him and melted the self consciousness of those around him. I felt comfortable around Magnus, and can understand why Isabelle is so fond of him. I feel rather stupid for thinking that Magnus was gay too, of course he was straight, it's how all of the kind ones are.

After our seemingly pointless conversations, Magnus seemed to have dozed off. He hadn't slept when around us, so I didn't find any issues in it whatsoever. I just felt a little stupid when he woke up, with ten minutes of the drive left, asking if I'd been speaking the entire time.

I didn't realise that I was so self-indulged that I could truly listen to myself talk for almost an hour. I tried to pretend I had only begun speaking as he woke up, but Magnus was smart enough to know differently.

He laughed at me for a little moment, and for once I didn't feel ashamed of myself for being laughed at. Magnus was including me into the joke, he wasn't spiting me, quite the contrary, he was involving me in a way others never do.

"Okay, everyone. Behave tonight. We're here early as planned, you have the next few days to settle in before the other students arrive. Please behave, I don't feel like writing detention slips before school starts." My mom truly sounded exhausted, she didn't like to sleep on journeys most of the time. She's never slept in a car that dad wasn't driving. I shook my head as Magnus left the car calling my name.

"How about you lot all come stay in my room for the next few days? We can all be a little family" He said with a chuckle. I wanted to say yes immediately but didn't want to appear too eager. Nodding along as Jace and Izzy agreed.

As we walked into the building I turned to wave to Cal, hoping that he has a safe drive whenever he gets back on the road.

When the door closed behind us, Idris became my new home. And become the home where my heart is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for some of the mistakes that may have appeared. Learning how to upload to this website is certainly interesting, hopefully there will be no more missing sections.


	3. Practically blindfolded

An empty school as large as Idris academy made everything feel so isolated. My cane tapping against the laminated floors as we walked towards Magnus's dorm was daunting, it felt like the near silence that was used in horror movies to build tension before a big eruption. 

The following moment was possibly the most embarrassing thing that I've been a part of in years. I hadn't been as cautious as I normally am, walking with the others, my cane only connecting with the closing door by the time it'd slammed into my face. I grunted and fell backwards, groaning as apparently my face loves the door and my ass loves the floor.

I tried my best to play it off like I was okay, getting up before the others noticed it. I narrowed my eyes behind my glasses, mentally screaming at myself. 'Good job Alec, it's like you were meant to be the stupidest member of your family, can't even figure out where doors are, you fucking idiot.'

I had caught up with the others who had briefly wondered why I had taken my time, I sprouted some excuse that the door was heavy and I had to manoeuvre myself in. I couldn't really deal with the pity that my siblings gave me when I did something stupid. 

Magnus's dorm was cold, I like the cold. I'm normally too warm for my own good, sleeping in a warm room makes me sweat and then that leads to a nightmare normally. Needless to say, I'd rather freeze my room than get nightmares.

"Welcome to Casssa deel ah Magnus" I'm almost certain he has no clue how incorrect he is, but it's hardly like anyone will correct him for a pleasantry.

"I'm going to bed." Jace grumbled, for someone who was regularly so fun, he was being quite the bore tonight. I can't blame him though, Izzy on one side, a lack of his crush on the other. I feel bad for joking about my brother, he probably just needs rest after the long drive.

"I'm going to take off this cake face," Isabelle said as she glided to the bathroom, I wanted to ask about the cases but then remembered that the few staff that were preparing for the semester would be obligated to take those to our rooms. I still didn't know where I was staying, hopefully it wasn't with a loud roommate. 

I awkwardly sat down on the bed closest to me by the end, flipping my cane back to its practical size, holding onto my knees as I pulled them up towards my chest "You can have my bed if you'd like, since your brother has so kindly decided that he is worthy of Ragnor's." 

"That's okay, I don't mind taking the floor." 

"I insist."

"As do I" I said with a smile, teasing Magnus's hospitality was amusing, I wonder if he was as frustrated in the face as he was in voice. I slid onto the floor and laid on my side, determined to get a rise out of him. In return, he didn't say anything, he simply lifted me up and placed me onto the bed.

"You can tuck yourself in or I will." He said as a playful threat, to which I rolled my eyes removing my glasses in a swift motion. Wanting to actually enjoy the rest without the glasses denting my skin "Blue eyes" His tone was unreadable, I had caught onto the fact that he meant my eyes. I'd been told they were blue before, but I just didn't know what that looked like. 

I closed my eyes for a moment, the nerves that he would be seeing something unnatural, growing a pit of fear in my stomach. The kind of fear where you every breath leads to a panic attack. 

"Goodnight Magnus" I mumbled turning away from him, clenching my eyes closed to hide what I didn't know. He probably saw how different they were from his own and felt disgusted. Izzy told me that sometimes blind people lose the colour of their eyes and look like they don't have any pupils. She even mentioned the people who have their eyeballs removed, I had been given that option when I was younger, but that wasn't one I'd ever want. My eyes weren't abnormal, they just didn't have the capability to see anything. 

Magnus murmured a small goodnight that I couldn't quite understand, but I had tried to just block him out. Why do I always feel like a deserve friendships? Especially when I don't only want to be his friend, the world isn't some big fairy-tale where true loves kiss can cure anything. 

Hodge told me about his first wife when I was young, about how she fought for a cure to his blindness. But eventually just realised that he was a "lost cause" that couldn't be helped. And I completely understood why Hodge let her leave, it was selfish to think that others should receive less than their partner in a relationship. Hodge was more reliant on her than she ever was on him, and I never want to be that way. 

I had slept for a few hours before I woke up, the coppery taste that coated my mouth was horrible. It was only after a short moment that I realised my nose was gushing with blood. I covered my face, sitting up in the bed and practically throwing myself out of the bed to clean up the mess on my face. I stumbled over a small pile of clothing before entering the bathroom, using one of my hands to find the sink. 

The hot water I washed my face with continued to make little effects, my nose continuing to bleed like it had been shot. I must have hurt myself more than I'd realised when the door and I shared a passionate kiss. Ironic that the only kisses in my life have ended in physical pain. 

Rolling my eyes I tried to reach out for some toilet paper, trying to clog the blood flow enough to stop holding my head across the sink "Alec, are you okay? Ah shit, nosebleed?" I had turned my head to the sound of the voice, Magnus, I'm willing to bet that I had woke him by taking off like a plane. 

I tried to speak but all that I was blessed with was a choke with blood now deciding to leak through my mouth now that I'd been holding my nostrils closed. I could faintly hear him as he moved around, he took over all of my responsibilities and held the bridge of my nose "I used to get these all the time." His tone was light, he was probably trying to let Izzy and Jace sleep, but in that moment it felt so intimate. 

I wanted to apologise for my rudeness, but part of me felt like Magnus would have known that as he continued to ease the blood flow, until it'd stopped "What happened?" 

"Nothing." 

"Alexander, your nose is bruised. Something happened," He said in a tone that reminded me of when mom would scold me, my lips fell into a pout of sorts as he let go of the bridge, placing a cloth over it and washing the blood away. 

"I walked into a door..." I mumbled, trying to lower my head to look down. Magnus stopped me with his fingers on my chin, pushing back up.

"You'll start bleeding again if you move your head so much. Why didn't you tell anyone that you'd been hit?"

"I just thought that it was stupid of me to mention my own mistakes." Magnus tutted at me, pressing a soft towel against my nose after he had washed it of the dried blood. 

"The bruising isn't bad, it's just going to be there for a few days I think," He said much like a doctor would "You aren't stupid Alexander. You are incredibly thoughtful, taking the blame for someone else not being polite enough to hold the door open. I'll add the doorman to my list of things to do around you." He said with that big smile, it made me feel the same form of happiness. Anytime he smiled, it brightened up my feelings in moments.

"You are the thoughtful one here Magnus. I don't know of many people who'd clean their new friends nose besides you." I said as I turned, my arm pressed against skin. I feel like I'm just a bunch of sudden moments combined into an awkward teen. Magnus was shirtless, his skin was cool, his skin was toned. I blabbered a stupid apology as I removed my arm from his body. 

Sometimes being blind had its advantages. I couldn't see how perfect Magnus felt, the downside was that I could feel it "We should get some sleep. I have plans for tomorrow, little group plans." He said with a jovial chuckle, I nodded in agreement to sleep. 

"I'll remove the sheets so you're not covered in blood all over." I mentally face-palmed remembering that I'd practically been home birthed in his bed. Why he was so understanding I don't think I'll ever know, but it was extremely appreciated. 

"Thanks" My thanks seem to be becoming far more meek than the average human's. Magnus confuses me, he is clearly straight, but his thoughtfulness is something I'm continuing to mistake for intimacy, it must be my longing for a love life that is forcing me into taking Magnus's kindness and twisting it to mean something more than what it is. 

Magnus placed his hand on my shoulder "You can get in now." Part of me wanted to shove him into it and take what I feel is my rightful place on the floor, below everyone else inside of the room, but then I thought back to what Hodge told me when I was younger 'Pitying yourself is pointless, sympathise with yourself, then move on.' 

So that's what I did, I sucked up my pride of being independent and didn't shove away the kind deeds that another has done to help me. When Magnus laid back on the floor I softly mumbled my thanks to him, he didn't respond with words to begin, instead he placed his hand on my arm "That's what friends are for."

\---------------------------------

You'd think that being the middle child of our family would mean that I'm at chance of being the neglected and forgotten child who acts out in hopes of achieving love that the eldest and youngest receive. That isn't my case though, I'm only just slightly older than Jace. I assume that we switched family roles, I tend to be treated like the baby of the family whilst Jace takes on the whole "middle child syndrome" of being a loner and so forth.

As siblings, we all seem to trade these roles around. I mother Alec, Jace fathers both of us and Alec returns the care. I only mention this because right now, Alec is going to be the baby for the first time in a long while. 

Magnus, he's a good person, but I would have said the exact same about...him. And whilst Jace and I truly have no say in Alec's choices in life, we will make our voices heard to keep him safe.

When it comes to Alec, I'd do anything for him. Jace too, but Alec never asks for half the favours we've asked him for. He never talks to us about his problems because he's selfless like that. And no matter how much you wish he would just tell you what he's feeling, he won't. He'd soon rather drop dead than beg for sympathy, rather cry in the dark than come for a hug. I don't think I've ever understood what made him feel like that, but I don't think I could ever change what he feels. 

And that's what makes me uneasy about Magnus, he's not the best at dealing with closed off people. Camille used to close herself off and eventually that lead to the loudest argument I've heard in my entire life. Of course, Camille is and was a complete she-demon who wanted his money and family connections before his love and care. 

Who knows, maybe I'm overthinking it, but if overthinking means I don't have to see Alec crying over someone who's hurt him again, then I'll theorise more than a PI at the end of a long, blood filled, tear spilled, broken-willed week. 

\---------------------------------

I wanted to groan as my eyes flickered to life, late nights were normal, but early mornings after a late night was practically a living hell. I grumbled softly as I pushed myself off of the floor, my cheek still wearing the pattern of the god awful texture of the carpet. I reached up to rub away the sleep in my eyes as I heard the door being knocked. Izzy, fully dressed waltzed over the door and swung it open.

"Luggage for Magnus Bane." I tried to care in that moment, but I honestly just needed some caffeine. And that would have to wait until I found the energy or someone else to go the coffee machine down the hall.

Izzy, being the little tank that she is, lifted the case inside, closing the door, not so gently. Waking Jace up with ease "Izzy, stop being so loud!" Jace grumbled as he looked at the grinning girl through sleepy eyes.

"I just wanted to make sure that you guys don't waste the day! It's 12:20, and I wanted to get food. But you lot just weren't having any of my first attempts to wake you, the case was just a pleasant surprise" I pushed myself up onto my knees, glancing to the right to see Alec still fast asleep. He slept on his side, one leg in the covers and the other on the outside, he probably got too hot. 

"Alec! Wakey wakey!" Izzy called out as she lightly shook his leg, his eyes opened and he looked to be adapting to being awake again. His hand reaching out for his glasses, I lifted them up and placed them into his wandering hand.

"Morning" He mumbled, pushing himself up into a seated position, his hair looked almost as perfect as it did yesterday. He didn't style it, he just seemed to let it be this mess on his head, but unlike most it came across as a perfectly planned look. 

"Alec, we're killing Izzy tonight." Jace called across the room, as he got up, going to the bathroom, Alec despite being tried just chuckled along, slipping out of the bed himself. I walked across to the case, unlocking it and pulling out some clothes for the day. 

"You lot were being boring, sleeping in. I'm all for some rest but sometimes there's a fine line being lazy and having some rest" I laughed under my breath, Isabelle was either excited and ready for fun or the polar opposite, wanting to yell at any little thing. Personally I preferred her excited over angry. 

After I dressed I took a seat on the unmade bed, too lazy to actually make it myself "How's your nose?" I asked Alec as he rubbed at it, the bruising had definitely looked like it was bad, most likely due to the darkness last night. 

Alec seemed sheepish as he smiled "It feels better, I'm just glad I didn't break it." His laugh was added not because he found it funny that he was feeling better, but rather that he found it funny he could have broken it but didn't. I wouldn't have been happy if he had broken it, not at Alec, but with myself. I really wish I had been watching him closer, holding the door open and making sure he was okay. But I know for a fact that Alec would have hated that, Izzy told me a while back about when he fell on the stairs at some family birthday party. He refused to accept anyone's help, embarrassment probably consumed him. So while I'd love to continue making sure Alec doesn't get hurt, if he knew I was, he'd be angry. And I get it, I'd be offended if someone patronised me like that. 

"You have any clue where your dorm will be?" I asked him, mainly due to the selfish reasons of hoping it was nearby. 

"I wish I did, I'm sure I'll be stuck in some place odd. Everyone else I know already has a roommate, so that's kind of, suckish." He said with a dryer chuckle, laughing at his own misfortune. Now, I'm no doctor, but part of me feels like Alec has gone through some dark times, perhaps it's the self-deprecation or the lack of constant happiness, but he always seems like a sad person hiding behind a small smile. 

"Well, if worst comes to worst I'll murder Ragnor and let you take his place" I said jokingly, earning the smallest of laughs at it. 

"Murder? Well, if you need help with burning the fingerprints and teeth, I'll be here" He said with a dead serious tone and expression, I dropped my smile slightly earning more laughter than normal from the blue eyed beauty "I've wat-- listened to a lot of TV" He said with another big smile, it makes all of those potential times of sadness he's experienced vanish in a heartbeat. 

"Okay ladies, let's get some food" Jace said leaving the bathroom, with a bright grin. I felt somewhat frightened, why Jace had went from being the Queen of Hearts to the Cheshire Cat is beyond me, but this smiley Jace wasn't the same one I'm used to. Except when he's around...oh.

"When did Clary get here?" I asked with a smirk, he glared, a look that could kill. 

Izzy was a perfect sidekick in torturing her brothers emotions "She's getting lunch now isn't she? That's why you're so eager to eat." 

"I'm hungry, stay back if you want." He grumbled, walking out on us all.

"Is Clary kind?" Alec asked as he unfolded his stick and walked across. I took my chance of gaining more contact with the raven haired male, offering him my arm. He walked into it then realised what I was offering, taking hold of my sleeve tightly. 

"She is, Jace tried to date her last year, but when he had gotten a date he started trying to be a bad boy. Clary didn't like the change in personality so she didn't speak to him until the start of summer" Izzy explained to Alec who made a small 'oh' sound.

"You'll like her, she's a little sarcastic when you annoy her, but she's one of the nice ones in this school." I added as we walked towards the door, Izzy opening it as she left with Alec and I following at a slight distance behind.

"These corridors don't sound bare. What's on the walls Magnus?" The way Alec said my name brought me happiness, it was just like anyone else would say my name, no changes in the pronunciation or anything, but the way he said it. It sounded like music to my ears, his lips an instrument I couldn't wait to master. 

"Well, there's quite a lot of school related posters, some pictures of people who've traveled on behalf of the school for sports and things. There's also the biggest board of club promotion in any school ever," Alec snorted at that "What, not into clubs?" I asked jokingly.

"I never really thought people had any clubs outside of sports, they always felt like some little joke that would be made on a show for the continuation of a cliché." He wasn't entirely wrong, a lot of clubs didn't have the same amount of support that others did, but they still acted as important as the sports ones.

"Well, I'll take it you won't be going out of your way to join a club then?" He quirked an eyebrow at that.

"Who said I wouldn't find a club? Truthfully now I'm more interested in the concept now more than ever." He said with a slight enthusiasm in his voice.

"Well, I'm only part of one club, the drama club. I help them with costumes" He smiled at that.

"How good are you at making costumes?" 

"Well, not to brag or anything, but I was made more than half of the costumes for last years production of Hairspray."

"That's really cool, the most craftsmanship I've done is making a card." He said with a small laugh, as I held the door open for him.

"I hope they have waffles. Or pancakes, I mean what do you prefer?"

"Magnus, you can't just expect me to know the answer to that...would you have me slice the throat of my first or second born while you're at it?" He said with a fake dramatic tone, making me laugh genuinely.

"Well, there's always the third born" To which we both had a mutual snigger.

"It depends on the day. Sometimes I want the waffles more, other times the pancakes."

"Fair enough, I'm more of a waffle guy myself, but would never turn down a fresh pancake." As I pushed open the door to the cafeteria, I got a whiff of beautiful waffles, staring at them from the counter with hearts forming in my eyes.

"Topping?" Alec spoke up as we entered the queue, Izzy in front of us, chatting to Fran, she was head of the kitchen here, and always really kind. 

"I like a bit of all," Why I felt the need to implicate more than just waffle toppings with that, I don't know. But I'll be damned before I say that I regretted it, the small confusion on Alec's face making the resisting to kiss him harder and harder, emphasis on hard.

"Well," He coughed nervously "That's better than being fussy, I like Nutella, strawberries and whipped cream." 

"Well, we don't have any whipped cream sweetheart, but I have a waffle with Nutella and strawberries with your name on it." I smiled at Fran, who had already began plating up the brunch meal for Alec.

"Thank you" Alec said with a soft smile, he looked unsure as to what to say, taking a more quiet and reserved approach to getting his breakfast.

"What can I get you?" She asked me with a friendly smile.

"Well, just the same please, and a cup of coffee would be great," I glanced to Alec and asked him if he wanted a drink.

"Orange juice would be really nice." He mumbled, I asked Fran for it knowing that she hadn't heard Alec who had gone from being slightly comfortable to completely hidden inside that metaphorical shell that he carried around. 

I carried our food over to the table that Jace, Clary and Isabelle were sitting "Hey everyone"

Clary was first to look up "Hi, how are you?" 

"I'm great thanks," I said as I sat down, Alec quickly folding his cane as he sat down beside me, releasing my sleeve. 

"You must be Alec, I've heard a lot about you!" Alec smiled at Clary as he held a hand out for her to shake. 

"It's nice to meet you Clary" He said at a mid-way point between his uncomfortable and comfortable stages.

\---------------------------------

"Did you guys hear about what happened to Camille this summer?" Clary asked us all, I'll admit I was somewhat intrigued but seeing how quickly Magnus responded to her, I felt a little disheartened. She probably still meant a great deal to him, which is yet another reason why I should stop my growing infatuation with him. I have barely known him for less than a day and have been spending all my time either being weird, stupid or quiet. 

"Apparently she took her dad's yacht without permission and completely trashed it." Clary explained, Magnus once again responded quickly. 

"What a surprise.." He said in a tone that I interpreted as either being upset at the loss of Camille or being angry at the loss. Either way, there were emotions linked to losing her that I couldn't pick up on. 

"Simon is still obsessing over her, it's like he doesn't even think of me as a friend anymore." 

"Well, then he's the fool, you're a great person and if he prefers Camille over you then he is insane." I smiled softly, Jace likes Clary more than just a basic crush, he never says things like that around the rest of us.

"I miss him," Izzy said gently "He used to help me with my physics work. Now I just sit in the class alone because he doesn't want to leave Camille's side." Izzy seemed upset, but she hadn't mentioned Simon before. 

"Well, as soon as he sees what a horrible person Camille is, the better." Magnus said with a strong voice, taking a bite out of his waffle. 

That's all I had been doing, I had cut my waffle apart into small pieces, enjoying the smaller bites with a swig of the fresh orange juice after a few bites, the waffle itself was a lot bigger than I was used to but it was greatly appreciated after sleeping in for longer than usual.

"I don't know what happened to Camille, it's like, she used to be nice to everyone and then just decided one day that she didn't want to be nice anymore. I know the difference between being quiet and being a bad person. Some people seem a lot harsher than they are because they don't talk much, but Camille, take what she did to Lydia for example, she didn't have to tell Raphael that Lydia liked him in front of the whole school, but she did because she's a bad person." Izzy seemed just as fuelled as Magnus did right now, and part of me wanted to hide myself away from this Camille forever. 

"Well, it was nice seeing everyone, I promised mom I'd help her get the art studio back into shape."

"I'll help you" Jace said as he got up, Clary giggled.

"Okay then, I'll see you all later!" She chirped as she walked off with Jace.

"Jace is whipped." Izzy said with a small giggle.

"It's sweet." I commented with a smile, hearing Jace's happiness made me happy. Jace, being our adoptive brother was always distanced in some ways to begin with, but with Clary it felt like he wasn't distancing himself in anyway. 

"It's adorable, now, I'm going to go to the office to get my schedule. Anyone want to join?" Magnus asked, standing up and taking one last gulp of his coffee.

"Would the office know where my room is?" 

"Yeah, that's where I went on my first day here." Izzy said "And not to disappoint you all, but Meliorn just got here" I quirked my brow at this, the name wasn't familiar, and before I could question about this mysterious person, she had already ran off.

"And then there were two" Magnus said as I got up, unfolding my cane before taking his sleeve again "If it helps, you can do this" He said as he took my arm and hooked it around his own, his warm skin radiating through the sleeve against mine. 

"That better?" He asked gently, making my heart flutter in my stomach. 

"Yeah" I said in my mood breaking, awkward tone. 

\---------------------------------

Once I had finished unpacking in my dorm room, I had gotten comfy in my bed. I felt bad because most people had to share a dorm room, whereas here I was in a room for two all alone. It was probably because no one would know how to handle a blind roommate. I chuckled at the thoughts of how much I'd have to explain to them, like why everything had to have an order and why it couldn't be changed without proper consultation.

Rolling my eyes I turned onto my other side, a blanket keeping me nice and cozy as the night set. I didn't really want to go down for anything to eat, so decided that the vending machines hot chocolate and snacks would have made for a nice feast.

I'd dosed in and out of sleep for a while before I heard my phone go off, I lifted the phone and accepted the call a little sleepy "Hello?"

"Alexander, why aren't you coming down for dinner?" 

"I didn't want to" I said with a small laugh.

"What are you going to eat?" He asked with a slight concern, making me smile wider.

"The vending machine has good snacks I've already gotten." I said as I emphasised my point by munching on a chip.

"I'm broken, there's no one interesting to talk to" I sniggered as I heard the sound of Izzy complaining at that comment.

"You'll cope, I'm sure."

"What is your room number?"

"Why do you ask?" I decided this was fun to tease Magnus.

"Because I don't want to be bored all night."

"Well, I could tell you it. But there's no fun in that, now is there?" 

"Alec I will break every door down until I find you" I was sure that I blushed when he said that, of course I would have seen it as romantic, that's all I wanted it to be.

"Well, that's a lot of breaking. You sure your shoulder can handle that?" He was grinning on the other side of the call, I was sure of it.

"I've been putting in my extra hours just for an occasion like this Alexander Lightwood."

"Is that so Magnus Bane?" 

"You're a tease Lightwood, I bet you're just not wanting to share your snacks with me." 

"How could you tell?"

"If I promise to bring my own, will you let me come over?" I sucked in a breath between my teeth.

"Well, that depends. Will I get yours also?" 

"That hardly sounds fair?" He objected with a laugh.

"Hey, I don't make the rules...no never mind, that's exactly what I do" I said with a grin.

"Okay, if I promise to bring snacks for myself and more for you, will you let me come over?"

I grinned, humming softly "Nope, good night" I said hanging up, I don't know why I had this sudden confidence, but it felt fun, like I was actually being normal for once.

Before I fell asleep again, I received a message from Magnus himself.

'Let the shoulder breaking hunt begin Lightwood' 

'Sure thing Magnificent Magnus Bane, best of luck' 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Next one should be up next Wednesday! Be sure to comment if you're enjoying this as much as I am so far!


	4. Facing outer demons

Waking up late Saturday night was interesting to say the least, not because I'd had some life altering, mind warping epiphany in my dreams, but because it sounded like a SWAT team were declaring war on my door. I was briefly concerned as to what lay behind that door but then was hit with a pleasant reminder in the form of Magnus's voice "Alec, I know you're in there! I can stand here all night you know?!" I rubbed my eyes softly, slipping one leg out of my comfort zone.

I wasn't angry, but a little confused as I opened the door. I had opened my mouth to ask Magnus why he was being so loud at whatever the time was, however I was instead tackled by him. I grunted as my back hit the floor, thanking the little reflexes I had for keeping my head from smashing against the thinly carpeted floor. 

Magnus laughed jovially as he got up "Sorry Al!" The smell that lingered on his breath was oh too familiar. A sickening reminder that the past holds relevance in the future. I felt my breath hitch as I squirmed trying to get the last of his weight from pinning me down.

"Have you been drinking?" I didn't want the answer, I wanted to be told else wise to feel like I had some security, but that wasn't my luck. Magnus hummed a yes as his response, laughing at a joke he muttered under his own breath. I frowned as I moved myself away, it wasn't far before he spoke up.

"Al, why're you moving away? I ended the lives of the finest Knights to reach your tower." I didn't waver in expression as I stood up, reaching for my cane, the normal purpose forgotten as I held onto it tighter hearing him move closer.

"What's wrong Alec?" His movements, each step forward, did he just growl? Why did he sound so familiar? Why was this happening? Why, why, why?! 

"Please--" Not again...no more...

"Woah, Alec, you're okay, I promise" False promises, real pain. False promises, real hatred. False promises, real scars. 

I gripped my cane tighter as he moved closer "Go away--" I said coldly, not allowing the fear overwhelm me anymore "You're drunk, just go and get sleep, text me when you're back in your dorm." Magnus didn't say much, in fact he didn't say anything at all, his confirmation was another gentle hum. Once I heard him leave the room, I walked across the distance I spaced between us and locked the door. The pit in my stomach relaxed as I let out a deep sigh, my furrowed brow falling as I turned to walk back into bed. Hearing a slam against the wall startled me slightly, but I moved into the safety of my covers, shoving in my headphones and playing 'peaceful' sounds of the sea and rain drops, hiding any signs of the outside world from my head.

\---------------------------------

My fist hurt. I slammed it against the blue concrete wall a few doors past Alec's. I wanted to hush him, soothe him, console and secure him. But he couldn't even listen to me, he didn't sound sad or angry, instead all I heard was fear. 

I'd scared him off now. I thought that having some drinks with Ragnor who arrived at dinner would be a great boost to my confidence. I should've listened to Catarina, she's always right about these things. I just wanted to see him, he hadn't responded for a few hours and I couldn't stand it. 

Of course I would be the one to ruin my chances with Alec, he looked like he'd seen...well, heard a ghost. I wished I had a hangover, nothing has felt more painful than looking at someone you care for, scared. I don't know what I did to scare him though, maybe he doesn't like loud noises? That would make sense, the loudness probably sounds a lot more concerning to him. Or maybe it was the touching, I might have assumed he was okay with that when he isn't. Either way I feel like someone's sucker punched me in the gut. 

I had gone up the two flights of stairs, to the third floor, slumping with my throbbing hand in the other as I neared my room. When I unlocked the door, Ragnor looked at me and chuckled "This Alec an MMA fighter I don't know of?" Given the circumstances, I scowled "Well, something tells me that you didn't get lucky tonight 'magnificent' one." 

"Not the night for jokes Ragnor." I said under my breath as I threw myself into my bed, groaning into the pillow. I should have just waited until tomorrow, he wouldn't have been as freaked out as he was tonight. Grumbling I pulled my phone out and looked at the message screen for a good ten minutes. Each time I typed something down I felt like an idiot, until finally it sounded right in my head.

'Hey Alec, I'm sorry about freaking you out. I thought it would have made you laugh, seeing me all stupid at this time of night. I really want to talk about this, can you let me buy you a coffee or something, just to apologise?'

I waited for a response, staring intently as I saw the three dotted bubble show up on the screen.

'It's ok, I was just sleepy, no need to buy me coffee, you don't need to apologise for anything'

'Can I come to see you tomorrow?'

'If you want to help me finish unpacking you can'

'I'll be there'

'Come by at like at around 12, if that's okay?'

'That's perfect, see you tomorrow!'

He didn't message back after that, he must have fallen asleep again. That brought me happiness, thinking that he was going to rest up, be safe and all. But all I could of is who to ask about Alec's reactions to me tonight.

Of course I could ask Izzy or Jace, but part of me felt like I should wait for Alec to tell me himself. Things like that aren't just spur of the moment reactions, they're rooted deep in his subconscious. 

"Magnus, turn the damn phone off and get to bed." Ragnor yelled as he threw a pillow at the back of my head. I flipped him the bird as he turned off the lamp, pulling my clothes off to get comfortable to sleep. 

\---------------------------------

The taps against the floor with my cane were pleasant to listen to, ensuring I didn't walk into anyone was an added bonus, but the light tapping against the floor was relaxing to hear.

Once I'd felt over the number on the door, I tapped against the wood hoping that I had the right one, when the door opened and I heard a lighter, less entrancing tone I mumbled out "Sorry, I must have the wrong door. Do you know where I can find Magnus Bane?" 

The boy chuckled "Right door, that mess is in his bed trying to nurse a hangover." I felt rude not returning the smile, but the male didn't seem to take any noticeable vocal offence as he opened the door further "Come on in, you're Alec right?" I nodded softly as a beginning to the response.

"You're Ragnor? Magnus mentioned you the other day" I said with a small smile, it wasn't much considering how uncomfortable this whole situation was, dealing with new people and soon to be dealing with a hungover Magnus. I used my cane to move across to his bed, sitting down when I felt the frame against my cane.

"Magnus" He grumbled as he moved around a little, the quiet springs of his bed being the only indication, alongside his heavy breathing, that he was alive.

"Alec?" He sounded confused.

"It's uh," I slid my fingers across my watch, double-checking that it was correct "3:14 PM, I thought you maybe forgot about our plans" He moved around a little more, before I heard him groan, part of me wished I hadn't come down here. He seemed to be annoyed and I was willing to bet that my pointless appearance interrupting his sleep wasn't appreciated. 

"I'm sorry Alexander, I slept through all of the alarms I set." I released the breath I didn't know I was holding, smiling softly "I'll get dressed now and we can get to unpacking?" 

"No need, I kind of already finished it before I came down" I said with a soft chuckle, it was a kind offer but an unnecessary one at this point. It probably was for the best that I was the one to unpack, everything is where I like it now, all organised.

"Coffee." Magnus blurted out, it was somewhat interesting to hear Magnus sound so, disheveled. A fish out of water some may say, I would. 

"I can go get you some, I think there's a machine in the common area." I said as I pushed myself up onto my knees. Magnus's hand took my own and gently tugged me back down. His hands were softer than mine, he probably uses something to make them feel less like the sandpaper that I call skin.

"I meant, we're going to get some coffee together." Part of my mind wondered what Magnus gained in all of this, friendship didn't normally have this level of involvement, at least none of mine ever did. 

"Aren't you two adorable? Now can you hurry up and leave so Catarina can come over?" I flushed as I re-acknowledged Ragnor's existence with a small wave. 

"If I find anything missing, I'll hurt you two." Magnus said as he climbed out of bed, I sat up and then got into the edge of the mattress finding the floor uncomfortable after a while.

"You might want to be careful, Catarina isn't as likely to see the joke in being accused as thieves as I am!" Ragnor retorted with a snigger, the faintest of taps telling me he was active on a computer. 

After a few moments of waiting, Magnus left the bathroom, now prepared for coffee. It felt like I was with Izzy, the whole waiting bathroom process, it was exactly the same as when she prepared in the mornings back home. 

"Shall we?" I stood up and extended my cane out as I walked across, hesitating to take Magnus's arm, settling for some space by holding his sleeve instead. I felt more comfortable maintaining a slight distance, just ensuring my own safety. Which was stupid, Magnus isn't a violent person, if anything he's been one of the nicest people I've met in a long time. But the mind fails to separate logic from emotions. 

\---------------------------------

Walking with Alexander Lightwood on one arm was a gift, he wasn't hooked like we did previously, but after last nights events I'd come to the understanding that something about my drunk self had scared Alec a little. 

We walked through the school, which was slowly beginning to find itself being filled with more students, arriving the day before the semester began. Needless to say, I don't think anyone is excited to begin work again.

"So what--"  
"How are--"

Both of us chuckled in unison, motioning for the other to speak. I stayed quiet to let him speak, seeing the cogs in his head turning when I didn't speak up "How are you feeling?" He asked, I glanced down at him whilst we walked, admiring the way he held his cane raised off of the ground, with a certain elegance to it all. 

"Well, I feel a lot better than I did last night," I said with a laugh that was nerve based "Look, about last night, I had no right to come over and do all the shit I did. I shouldn't have, and I'm really sorry." 

"Please don't apologise, you didn't do anything." The way he said it made me feel like he deserved a large embrace.

"Alexander, I am apologising because I didn't think my actions through. You looked terrified of me, and quite frankly I don't think I can handle seeing that look again."

"I'm sorry" I tutted.

"You don't have to apologise for being scared of me last night. I just have to ask what part of me sent you, well, into a...dark place? I just want to ensure it doesn't happen again. Was it the loudness?" He seemed to wrinkle his nose as I spoke, in a way that didn't feel like he was condescending towards me, but rather attempting to understand me in all of this.

"Magnus, it truly isn't your fault for what I felt. I, I have bad experiences with alcohol, okay? Not me, I mean, I know someone who had bad experiences with alcohol and they turned to me when they were intoxicated." Each word he spoke was so reserved, like he'd thought it over and over again, trying to find the most acceptable answer that didn't pull the cards away from his chest.

"If I can be sure that I won't scare my friend, I promise I'll become as pure as the Virgin Mary." I heard him giggle at that, the sounds of a thousand soft harp harmonies couldn't compare to the music that was Alexander Lightwood's voice. 

As we entered the 'Brew Stop', I asked Alec if he could go and take a seat on the couch while I ordered our drinks. Also asking what his drink order was, making a mental note of it for the future. I'll be honest, he surprised me with his go-to being a decaf black coffee, I never saw him as the type. 

Of course, as fate would have it, the only way to balance out what could have been a perfect day, was satan in the flesh. Camille Belcourt, ex from hell who of course, was sitting in this same coffeehouse. I wanted to throw Alec over my shoulder and run, but with the distance between where we would be sitting and where she is lurking, I felt it wasn't needed. I regret that.

Walking to the couch, I placed down Alec and I's drinks, impatient to wait, I lifted mine and gulped a large amount down, craving some caffeine after last nights events. 

"I like the music" Alec murmured as he lifted his cup, sipping at the contents. 

"It's, chilled." I commented as I took another sip, turning to face Alec. His head blocked the sun from my face, but illuminated his head like he was an angel. He looks like an angel...

"Thanks for the coffee, how much was it?"

"My treat. An apology for sleeping in," He scrunched his face slightly, I resisted the urge to 'aww' at the cuteness of his frustration. 

"How much Magnus?"

"My treat, Alexander."

"I remember when you used to buy me coffee's too, still remember the order?" I wanted to scream as I turned slightly to see none other than the devil.

"Of course I do, a mocha, no foam, three shot, half caff, with a side of pathetic, in a witch proof cup." I retorted, she giggled as she sat down on my other side. I looked away from her with an eye roll, trying to reach out to cup Alec's hand. 

"Let's get out of here Alexander." I mumbled as I stood up, Camille grabbed my other hand.

"But Maggy, I missed you. We both know it'll just take a drop of vodka to forget about what I did."

"Camille," I began coldly "I wouldn't want to be with you again if my life depended on it. I'd rather swallow a pack of razor blades one by one. I'd rather gouge my own eyeballs out with a rusty nail." Camille continued to giggle, that look of sheer evil she tried so hard to mask being on clear view.

"Well, apparently you're just picking all the worst things to get over me. Razor blades, no sight and a little troll," She said with another evil giggle "Who knew that becoming blind would be worse than dating me?" She turned towards Alec and hissed a breath through her teeth "I love your glasses by the way, they hide the freakishness behind them perfectly! Hey, remember that time just a few seconds ago when you said gouging your eyes out would be your response to having to date me again?" My blood boiled as I looked to Alec's face, it was stone cold. I had said something to that extent but didn't mean it like she'd twisted it to be.

"Camille, leave us alone. Now." I snarled.

"Oh, but Magg--

"No, listen here. I want you to get out of my life forever, I never want to see or hear from you ever again." 

"But Maggy--

"Shut your mouth." I growled, she pointed to the door and my eyes followed. Seeing Alec rushing out of the coffeehouse I felt guilt wash over me, here I'd hoped he wouldn't have listened to her "I hope you burn in hell." I said angrily as I stormed out after Alec, he didn't respond when I called out his name, building the concern in my chest as I quickened my pace.

\---------------------------------

Of course, this is what happens when you try to be around someone's ex. They'll go after you because you're a blind freak who doesn't have any place to socially belong. I refused to cry, people like her didn't deserve my tears, they didn't even deserve the right to think they affected me. 

I could hear Magnus calling on me after I'd left the store and walked the school grounds, part of me was glad that I was both new and couldn't see anyone. It made it much easier to feel no embarrassment from being shouted on like this. When I'd reached the dorm doors, Magnus had caught up with me, his hand placed on my shoulder, gently turning me. 

"Alec" He said with slight breathlessness, I was breathing somewhat heavier too, but Magnus must have ran.

"Look, I've heard things like that a thousand times before. So don't offer me pity for the way she said them...just," He huffed out a sigh, shaking his head lightly "I don't want to be around people who, who don't get that I'm blind. It sounds stupid as hell but I can't change who I am, and I can't help that it's such a horrible thing. But I can choose to be positive about my life, and that's what I've always tried to do, so if you can't handle that kind of outlook on my life...then I don't see why you insist on being near it." He said with a frown as he opened the door to the dorms. 

I wanted to chase after him again, but he looked so hurt. Twice in a row I've let myself and others make him sad. That's just it, if he was crying I could comfort him, but he clearly doesn't want to cry in front of anyone, I feel like I've just shipped in bricks and cement for the walls he would be building.

After a few moments of standing, somewhat stunned I decided that I would go after him regardless, I needed to clear up what had just happened. Camille is like a poison, the second you swallow her words the more they begin to spread. Raziel knows I dodged a firing squad when we broke up. 

"Alec? What's wrong?" I looked to Izzy who looked at me, then back to Alec, trying to figure out what was wrong. Alec walked ahead, past his sister with some words exchanged, Izzy looked at me like she wanted to murder me "Bane, we need to talk." She said as she approached, I tried to open my mouth to explain what had happened, she instead decided to kick me in the shin. 

"Ah, shit! Izzy!" I groaned as I held my shin.

"Don't Izzy me. Explain yourself, why is my brother practically running away from you?" 

"Ow, Izzy, quit it with the poking" I said swatting lightly at her fingers.

"Explain." She growled.

"Do the words Camille Belcourt suffice?" 

"Not without an added explanation they don't." She replied snappily.

"I was supposed to help Alec unpack, I slept in, we went for coffee and Camille decided to verbally assault him, twisting my words to make it sound like I was insulting blindness." Izzy's expressions seemed to be flickering like a faulty bulb. 

"Okay, where is she? I warned her that if she messed with my friends and family again I'd punch her fucking teeth out." Isabelle was passionate, it's where she distinguished herself away from her family. Her passion for the things she cared about making her threatening to all. 

"Calm down spitfire. I already handed her ass to her in the coffeehouse." I said managing to slightly extinguish the building fire.

"What did she say to him?" Part of me considered lying to avoid the drama that would ensue, but then I remembered the combination of who Camille was and how proud of her actions she'd have been.

"She made fun of him for being blind, saying he was a freak for it and making me sound like I'd agreed, which is far from the truth. You know that." I said trying to vent the frustrations I felt from dealing with Camille.

"Okay, I'm going to go talk to Alec. Please just, let him simmer for a little bit. He's going to be hurting, and when Alec's hurt he likes to deal with it alone." I wanted to object, tell her that she was wrong and that Alec should have all of the attention and support I could offer. But it felt like she knew what was best for him in this circumstance. 

\---------------------------------


	5. Sleeping over?

Sitting alone at night really does help me think. Sometimes I'm lucky and I get to feel like I'm not a complete fool, but most of the time I feel like every little thing I do is being watched and laughed at from above. My dad had an odd phrase that my family seemed to have inherited with his passing 'By the Angel.' He said, one time he told me that it was a family saying, but I never understood why we spoke of these angels from above, what importance did they have on our lives? Why was it we called to them when we lacked understanding of what was ahead? And if we called onto these Angels, why didn't they seem to answer our calls? Nights like these, when I sit up and think about all the things I said, and all the things I did, make me truly wish I could just take them all back -a swift removal of my mistakes- and try to make the "Angels" see that I'm not some great joke on humanity. 

The chilling air that filled my dorm was the only thing keeping me from passing out. Glistened drops of sweat glided down my back, patching my forehead and matting ebony locks to my scalp. Angels...I scoffed. Angels aren't all what dad claimed them to be, and I wasn't frightened to say that anymore. I wasn't afraid of what consequences awaited my thoughts, and I wasn't going to be scared of my own opinion. Not out of fear from him, not of the thought of what Angels would think of me and certainly not of a God who never made my life less shitty. If they truly wait to punish me for my "sins", then I challenge them, they've already given me challenges, and I've overcome them.

And thus, I sat up until I was coated with cool air, anticipating a hit that never came. Sometimes I could still hear the soft explosion of his chained wristlet. And I couldn't be angry, his personality changed each time we "spoke", sometimes sheer rage, other times, overwhelming kindness. For a man that brought so much happiness to everyone, he truly knew how to crush the spirit he'd help build. Sighing lightly, I slipped out of bed and closed the window, light drops of condensation dampening my fingertips. Thinking about the day that just passed, it was clear to me that I was in the wrong. 

I had overreacted, which isn't easy to admit to. I'd ruined my own day by taking the thoughts of someone who intended to hurt me, and believing them. Harsh reminders like that make me question my own guard, if I can't deflect a basic comment that wasn't even intended for me, then I don't have a safeguard. I'm virtually in No Man's Land with no weapon or armour and a vulnerable mind that could be reached and destroyed with minimal effort.

Rushing a hand through my hair, I took in a deep breath and sighed again, what would it take to get things right? Hell, how many times would it take for me to get anything right? 

Pushing aside my inner dilemma, I lifted my phone and pressed the call button to a magnificent acquaintance, he had to know that what I'd said to him was stupid and that he wasn't the one who'd hurt my feelings. Of course, when he picked up and I realised that he'd been asleep I froze.

He grumbled out a small hello, probably confused as to why anyone was calling so late "...Alec?...Alexander? Are you there?"

In a rushed sentence I blurted "Magnus, I'm sorry to have called so late. I didn't even think that you would have been sleeping"

He chuckled "Oddly enough I sleep like anyone else, blue eyes" 

"I'll talk to you tomorrow. I just, I wanted to apologise...now, sleep well" I said ready to hang up and let the poor boy finally get some well deserved rest. Hell, maybe leaving him alone would be rest for him. 

"Not a chance Lightwood," I could hear some fumbling around in the background "Alec, I'm coming up to your room. You better open the door for me." He said before hanging up, within an instant I felt the pit of my stomach sink thinking about what to say. How could I make things right here? Magnus didn't do anything beside try to defend me, like a good friend would do, and yet here I was being a colossal asshole and taking my emotions out on him. 

A few moments later, there was knocking at my door, I considered not answering and just pretending I fell asleep. I could have saved both of us the issue of speaking if I did, but being selfish as always I wanted to hear him. 

I unlocked the door and opened it slightly "Magnus?"

"Hey, I guess you couldn't sleep without my presence, and living without me is just a crime" He said as I opened the door fully for him, scoffing at his ego, which of course I liked. 

\---------------------------------

Being called by Alexander Lightwood at around 2 in the morning should have annoyed me, it should have made me so angry that I couldn't even think straight. But when I answered the call and heard him. Accepting blame and trying to apologise for someone else's wrong doing seemed to motivate me, give me a stern kick up the ass to go and see him.

So I pulled on a hoodie and sweats and headed to his dorm, when he answered the door I felt my usually cold heart melt, with a ruffled head of pitch black hair, and those entrancing azure orbs he stood with the door opened slightly. 

"Magnus?" The way he made my name sound filled me with an array of emotions. Being around him makes me, want him. I want his attention, I want his conversation. And when the door was opened, I knew that I wanted his body under mine. With somewhat baggy plaid boxers, Alec's long legs and chest were in full display. He wasn't lanky, he was toned, not the stage of a bodybuilder or Instagram model, but he definitely wasn't a string bean. I stood still, staring at him and lapping up at every part of his appearance like a starved mutt.

"I'm sorry to have woken you up, I feel like I'm kind of causing a lot more trouble than I'm wort--"

As if I was shot, I reacted immediately "You aren't trouble. And believe me, you're worth a lot more than I could put into words" His cheeks flushed, even in the dim lighting I could see the red cover his face in embarrassment "Now, are you okay that I'm here so late? Classes start tomorrow and I don't want to keep you up all night" I said with a toothy grin, his cheeks wouldn't stop, and I really didn't want them to. They looked like fresh berries, so appealing and sweet. 

Alec cleared his throat, the adorable confused expression on his face fading then resurfacing with a slight raise in his left brow "You...keep me up? Magnus I'm the one who called you!" He said with this exasperated tone that made me chuckle, Alec needed to have someone take blame for pointless things because it's clear that he's never one to shy away from accepting it. 

"You did? Here I thought I called you." I retorted with a grin, he looked in my general direction with again that same arched brow before shaking his head and laughing softly, I joined in, devouring the sound of his joy and locking it in my head like I'd never hear it again. 

"Well, can I offer you a drink?" He asked, I smiled and nodded, then shook my head, small things like that took getting used to. Body movement being practically useless around Alec, which was a little unfair. Here I am, master of romance and body language, being held down from my full potential to woo him. Does anyone even say woo anymore?

"I'd love one, what do you have?" I asked walking across to his bed and flopping on it, his bed was bigger than mine and made me jealous that I had half the size in my own. Plus, these navy blue sheets were potentially the softest thing I'd ever laid on. Egyptian cotton without a doubt.

Alec hesitantly moved around the room, kneeling down and taking ahold of a handle to the mini-fridge. Which, by the way, how much cooler was Alec's room to my own? A lot. That's how much. I wondered if all students that were blind would be offered the same, or if Alec bought it for himself. Some other students have appliances like that so it wouldn't be wild if he had brought it himself. It would make it easier for him to cut out visits during studies, that's for sure. 

"I have some iced coffee, iced green tea, a couple of energy drinks and Coke Zero." I blinked a few times, mentally writing down a note enquiring the potential of a mini-fridge. Ragnor would pay half, the 'bloody' Brit wouldn't stand a chance of using it if he didn't. I wonder if it's pretentious if American's use stereotyped British phrases? 

"I'll take the coffee, kinda running on empty right now" Watching the small movements as he got the coffee was fascinating, in the least patronising way possible, it was just the way that he slid his fingers along each drink before confirming that where his hand wavered to begin with was right, lifting the iced liquid and turning.

"Okay, heads up" He said, lifting the glass bottled coffee and tossing it across the room, I caught it only just managing to prevent it from hitting the wall. 

"I should have warned the wall" I teased with a small grin, he shook his head in an endearing manner and came across to sit down beside me. It was weird, being in Alec's room, with a half naked Alec, and not being involved in something romantic because of the other factors. 

"Making fun of the blind," He tutted "Not very magnificent of you, Bane." He said jokingly, pulling his pillow onto his lap, if it were only that simple to pull him into mine.

"Well, I don't think it's right to treat anyone differently, I make fun of everyone equally Lightwood" His lips dropped into a pout, making me wonder if anyone ever taught him the whole 'puppy dog eyes' trick. Because if no one did, he was nailing the pin on the head with his facial expression. God, looking at the fullness of his lips, that clearly didn't have any lip products affecting their natural look, made not kissing him torturous. 

"Here I thought you'd make fun of others more than me," He said releasing a small sigh, which made me chuckle. Luckily I was beginning to understand Alexander's humour, it was refreshing compared to that of the other people I know here, it didn't consist of blunt cursing to try and make him sound funny and just felt more charming that way. 

"Well, I could learn to make some exceptions, for the right price of course" He quirked the same brow as before.

"How much Magnus?" 

"Well, it's a long term payment. It goes by many names, but being best friends is the one most commonly used." He rolled his eyes at me, snorting under his breath.

"Well, I'm very glad to be your best friend Magnus, but I'm beginning to question whether I'm really something great, or if every one else just really sucks." I sniggered, flicking his ear to taunt him, in response he moved his head and shoved his tongue out like a tall child. 

"Well, it's not that they aren't okay friends, it's just, you manage to be slightly less annoying," He punched me in the shoulder, surprising me with quite a punch "Woah, woah, woah, let's not get violent, you're so high up on the list, you can't jeopardise your status!" I wanted to burst out laughing at his facial responses, some were clear as day, but some looked so puzzling that I struggled to think of anything that comprehended what he must have been feeling. 

"Well, where am I currently?"

"On the list?" I asked bemused, to which he nodded with a devilish smirk. 

I licked over my lower lip "Well, it's still varying. Truthfully I think you got knocked down slightly with these late night calls" I teased, poking his side, trying to be subtle in my need to touch his sun-kissed flesh.

"Didn't you call me?" He asked, swatting away at my hands with a toothy grin.

"Well, touché. I'd say that right now you're in my top 5, I'll let the placement on that list be unknown, because what's magnificent about knowing the whole truth?" I replied, I swear this kind of smiling is going to wrinkle my skin. That is the first, and only reason why Alec Lightwood has seemed bad for me and my future. Then again, with all the new discoveries of smiling apparently increasing life expectancy, who's to say that Alec making me smile is bad? I'm asking, I look forward to arguing with them over it. 

"So, can I explain my actions, y'know yesterday?" I somewhat tilted my head, watching Alec's unresting fingers fidget around on his pale thighs. Maybe I should find him a blanket to keep him cozy. 

"Your actions don't need to be explai--"

"No. I, kind of need to get this off of my chest." He said cutting me off with a look that both apologised for it but held a firm position on speaking his part.

"Okay" I replied softly, keeping my voice down because Alec seemed to need that kind of environment around him. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Alec never finished what he had to say when someone else spoke, and if I learned anything in my psychology course last year, it's that people who can't seem to finish what they say have doubts that their viewpoint is either invalid or invaluable. 

"Okay. So, I'm sorry if any part of you doesn't agree with this. But I do not like Camille, she is a cruel human who I've heard too many negative things about, and experienced it firsthand, to ever find her a nice person." I smiled softly, does Alec ever take a stand against people like Camille? It made me, oddly proud seeing him take a stand against her. 

"When Camille said those things, I didn't think about what had really been said. She'd got to me. And instead of accepting that and trying to just, move on, I thought that if I was able to take my pain and blame it on someone else, then it would become less painful to deal with what she said. And that was wrong of me. I had no right to blame you for her actions," His hands continued to move restlessly as he vented his thoughts "Her actions were hers, but the way she just tried to, I don't know, parade you around like nothing had changed between the two of you," He sighed softly, gripping onto his left hand "It was just insult to injury I guess, trying to use you to hurt me, and somehow managing to hurt me by using you..." Seeing that his grip had tightened on his hand, I reached across slowly and placed my slightly larger hands over his.

"You're a good friend Alexander. I don't think I know of anyone who would think that way about Camille interacting with me." His face wasn't flushed, instead I could feel his heart beating through his hands, feeling the moment sway my emotions I pulled him close to me and wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace. 

He seemed flustered as I peaked down at his beautifully sculpted face, staring straight ahead at my neck with a sweet smile "Thank you for being a good friend." I said slowing my wording down and trying to emphasise 'friend', hoping he'd know I wanted more than just being friends. My hands weren't necessarily remaining still, they somewhat floated along his lower back, against the soft skin. And then the texture changed, gone was the smooth and in was the marred that acted like a jumpstart to Alec's brain. 

"Are you cold? I'm pretty cold. I'll...hoodie." He mumbled, rushing across to the bathroom. The way he walked was so impressive, bobbing and weaving around his room in a way that allowed him to avoid all of the furniture. Sure, I wouldn't say that out loud, it would come across rude. I just found it amazing that without sight, Alec managed to be more graceful than the blubbering Brit Ragnor, when he is sober. 

A few moments later, Alec came out of the bathroom with a slightly oversized navy hoodie on. I took a sip of the bottle of iced coffee, pleasantly surprised at the taste "These are really nice" I commented, gaining a slight smile. 

"They're Izzy's favourite. I only really get them so she has something when she comes over. Well, she hasn't come over yet but I'm sure she will." He seemed disheartened because his sister hasn't showed up for a visit, she had mentioned Meliorn to me yesterday but I forget what they were getting up to.

"Well, now I have something when I come over too," I said hoping to cheer his spirits up a little, he again gave a small smile "And I intend on being here as often as I can, look at the size of this place, it's the dorm of dreams!" I exclaimed with enthusiasm, he chuckled as he came over and sat down. He was closer this time, close enough to hear the gentle breaths he took, close enough to see that Alec had some scruff on his chin which made him look, handsome.

"Mom wasn't right to worry about me here. She'd made me think that everyone I was going to meet would hurt me, it's like she thinks I'm made of glass or something"

"It's nice that she cares though" Alec looked to me with a slight tilt to his head, his hair moving slightly, a fluffy mess of black hair that was the clearest definition of bed-head.

"You haven't told me about your parents yet. Just that they own that uh, fashion company" I hummed in thought as he spoke, I suppose I hadn't mentioned much about them. It just felt natural to live without mentioning their rare involvement in my life. 

"Well, they are avid believers in working hard. They don't exactly put pressure on me, they just like to make me think that everything I do is my choice when realistically I know I'm being left with their company once they retire"

"Isn't that stressful? Having your future planned out for you?" I hummed at the question, mentally planning out what I wanted to say.

"I--uh, I guess I've never really seen it as stressful, more so it's convenient. I have all of my life laid out for me, I don't need to get good grades to get my dream job. I don't need to learn about my superiors because I've known them since I was a kid," Alec seemed to slouch into my side, leaning against my arm "I have the option to just slide by in life. But, I'm not a fan of that life, my parents maybe don't see it but I make sure to get the best grades I can, I learn all about the company I'm going to inherit one day, and I make sure that I create connections to people that will help expand the work they've done. Not because I need to, but because I want to." Alec was smiling, in turn making me smile too "What?" I asked with a gentle laugh.

"You sound so passionate about it all" He said gently, his head flopping against my shoulder, everything about this night felt so oddly right. Sure, I felt sleepy, but I was in a place of solitude, with the only person that I wanted to be around right now. I pressed the side of my head onto his, leaning back.

And so we sat there, leaning against each other until I heard Alec's small snores. They weren't snores actually, they just sounded like slightly heavier breathing through his mouth. What defines a snore anyways? Shaking that thought out of my head I glanced around the room, trying to find a clock, then remembered that there was no need for Alec to have a clock. 

Deciding I couldn't be bothered with going back to my own room, I slowly wrapped my arms around Alec, lifting him up and moving him around to lay down. I crawled up beside him with each and every thought of how beautiful he looked coming to mind "Mmh" Alec mumbled in his sleep, I wonder if he ever speaks in his sleep? It was adorable hearing him as he moved slightly from side to side.

I placed my head on the pillow next to him and pulled the covers from underneath us, to cover us up. If Izzy saw me in her brothers bed she would probably murder me, Jace would do something worse than murder, I'm sure of that. But it's not like I would be taking advantage of Alec. I felt my blood boil at the thought of it, Alexander is too kind to be taken advantage of. 

Maybe I'd just have a five minute nap, just to help me get through the day tomorrow. That way I could wake up and get out before I freak Alec out. Because I'm pretty sure waking up beside a random, quiet figure will be the work of nightmares. 

And so, the last thing that I remember before closing my eyes, is Alec's body snuggling against my side, his head on my chest and my hands in his messy hair. I've fallen for him, now it's just a matter of time before he's mine. If my parents have been told anything by my numerous nannies, it's that I get what I want through hard work and persistence. A little charm too, but the point is I get what I want. And what I want, is the raven-haired, ocean-eyed beauty known as Alexander Lightwood.

\--------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt this was a little slow on the story, but I felt it necessary to write this all out. And get some fluff out before the storm hits.


	6. Life of a high school Socialite

The life of a high school socialite isn't always easy. For starters I tend to wake up two hours before the average high-schooler does, my hair, make-up and online presence require dedication. And I'm all for devoting myself to the cause of being popular. I think there's a misconception of what it's like to be popular, being popular doesn't mean I have to spread my legs for any guy who likes me, it doesn't mean I couldn't if I chose to also. But it's more than just playing into the stereotype of being a popular girl, I'm never rude or mean to someone who hasn't done something against me, my friends and family. I've never been mean to a boyfriends friends because I don't get all of his time. And most importantly, I don't let being popular and active in the school community stop me from being a nice person. Kindness is the easiest thing for me to display, a simple smile goes a long way that's true, but asking someone how they are by name makes it even better. And so I make it part of my time to learn more about others, mainly to gain more friends. But most importantly, to protect the people I love and care for. Camille Belcourt and I haven't ever seemed to get along, she's a taller girl than I am, but she knows fully that I could bring her down below me if I needed to. And judging her move on my brother, the little I was told at least, she was really asking for me to show her why to never mess with a Lightwood. 

My older brother doesn't seem to get that he's not to blame for rude people. He's always thought that if he's involved in something bad, it's his fault. And no matter how hard I've tried to break him of these feelings, he truly just won't have it, and nothing breaks my heart more. I've tried to get Jace to talk to him about these things, but both of them have somewhat grown apart, when Jace and I left Alec to start high school, he was alone a lot. And I regret not taking the chance to be homeschooled with him, I don't know if I'll ever forget the look on his face when we told him. It wasn't blatantly obvious, but behind those shades I could tell he was holding off tears. And I'll be damned if I let Camille fucking Belcourt of all people cause him to feel that way again.

Sliding my lipstick in a fluid motion, I perfected my make-up and grinned, red is my colour entirely. My look was always the opposite of Clary's, where she was lighter, I was darker. Where she was fond of hiding her figure, I embraced mine. But that's what makes the two of us good friends, our differences combined make us look, modesty aside, hot as hell.

Slipping on the last of my uniform, that had the slightest of alterations, I grabbed my bag and swung it onto my shoulder "Ms Fray, this is your final wake up call!" I shouted to her as I opened the front door, Clary groggily lifted her head and then dropped it down again. Finally, I, a great roommate had her awake. Now, to go on my general wake up calls. 

First up was Jace, he was easily the grumpiest first thing in the morning, but when I got to his dorm he was already wide awake and answered the door when I knocked. He was sweating and completely gross "Izzy? It's 6:45! Why are you so ready?!" He cried out.

"Why are you looking so gross?," I questioned with a raised eyebrow, he opened his door a little more and showed off his room. Why Jace felt the need to turn his room into a gym, I never got. But what made me want to burst out laughing was that Jace wasn't alone. Simon, Raphael and Ragnor were all working out "Geez, leg day?" I questioned teasingly, as predicted, Ragnor mumbled, Raphael winked and Simon wanted to jump out of a window. I would have sighed in defeat but I'd come to terms with Simon's feelings for me being a one time thing. 

"Thanks for the wake up call, bye." Jace said abruptly, closing the door in my face. I promised myself I wouldn't kick the door down and demand an apology for his rudeness, mainly because Jace was either grumpy, arrogant or stupidly protective. 

I would have woke Magnus up next, but his room seemed to be empty after my five minutes of knocking. Leaving Alec to be the last one to wake, the way I normally did things back home because he likes sleep more than he likes people. When I reached his door, I felt puzzled noticing that his door wasn't closed properly. Being the amazing sister I am, of course I opened the door, Alec's safety was at hand here. I truly didn't know what to say or think when I opened the door however.

In Alec's bed was Alec, you know, the person you'd hope was in his bed. And next to him was Magnus freaking Bane, now I'm normally very decisive on how I'm feeling. But I don't think I've ever felt so conflicted emotionally seeing their bodies tangled together in the cutest way possible. Screaming at Magnus for being in bed with my brother was my first thought, then my second was how happy they both looked together. Then screaming re-appeared in my head because Magnus has a little history with dropping partners like flies when he'd had what he wanted from them. Now, I don't want to think that Magnus used my brother, but judging my brothers past partner, I'm ready to act before I know what the full story is to be safe. I never got to know who the guy was, Jace either, all Alec told us was what he did to him, the things he called him. It took us months to get the smallest of comments about him, Alec was closed off after whoever he was. And that was enough to make any rational person concerned for Alec's mental stability when involved in romance. 

I walked in and closed the door behind me, walking over to the two, then leaned over and thumped Magnus on the forehead. He woke up, green eyes filled with fear, rightfully so, and confusion "Izzy?" He whispered gently, his voice tired.

"If my brother is naked under these covers then I suggest you run." I mumbled with a glare, of course I love Magnus as my friend, but Alec is off bounds for anyone. 

"Isabelle, I haven't had sex with your brother. He's wearing clothes, he's sexually untouched and he just fell asleep." I believed him, Magnus wasn't one to lie about his sexual life, he liked to brag about a lot to me, especially over text. I couldn't count his partners with my hands even if I had 3 clones of myself. 

"The real question is, why are you sleeping beside him?" I said, trying not to wake Alec up. 

"He called me a few hours ago, wanted to apologise and eventually we both got tired. Isabelle, you know I wouldn't go against your wishes to talk about the prospect of dating Alec before doing anything of the sort with him." I dropped my glare and offered him a smile, Magnus is a gentleman and it's hard to remember that when it's basically your "baby" brother involved. 

"Well, I suggest you get him up. We have classes soon. We have to talk in Home Ec" I said offering a slight smile, assuring that I wasn't angry. I just wanted to lay down boundaries, ground rules that wouldn't be crossed. On my way out I grabbed an iced coffee from the mini-fridge, smiling at the cool touch "Rise and shine" I called out as I closed the door, pondering the thought of telling Jace about Alec and Magnus. Then shook my head, Jace seems to revert back to the mindset of a Neanderthal, hit anything that's even remotely threatening and protect what he cares about. Don't get me wrong I appreciate it sometimes, but other times I want to kick him in the face for his pointless interferences. 

\---------------------------------

Magnus wasn't there when I woke up, I thought he was at some point in the night, but I must have imagined it. Groggily I stood up and got myself together, getting into my new uniform after I had showered and generally cleansed myself. The uniform wasn't exactly comfortable, but it managed to not itch all over, so it got my seal of approval. 

Thankfully, I had time to walk to class before everyone else rushed off to theirs. I haven't been in many crowds in my life, but I'm well aware that the few I have, were hellish. My cane isn't exactly welcomed when it hits someone, of course, no one wants to start a fight with the blind kid. At least normally that's the case, I am a non-contagious leper after all. Either pitied or ignored, I prefer the latter really. 

It's mornings like these that I appreciate the effort of packing my bag the night before. I hadn't thought about lunch, so it looked like I would have to go into the cafeteria, swallowing down the inability to see that as a good idea, I left my dorm, locking it in the process. 

A few stray yawns left my lips as I walked to the elevator, thankfully I appeared to be one of the first in it today. Everyone else seemed to be gone, which was odd, casually checking I ran my fingers along the timepiece, suddenly feeling stunned as I read the time. Of course, I wasn't early, that isn't my luck. I had around 5 minutes to make it to the second bell, and I only had a rough idea where the English department was, all of the ingredients for disaster. 

The elevator seemed to take a century to reach the bottom floor, on the way down I heard a familiar voice "Hey Alec, running late too?" It was Clary, I felt bad for looking down to her because many people who were shorter seemed to take offence to others acknowledging it. I offered her my version of a smile, but it was probably awkward and similar to that of a programmed robot smiling. 

"Yeah, I thought I was early." I mumbled, reaching up with my free hand to rub at the back of my head uncomfortably. Clary didn't strike me as the type to be late, but then again, Jace wouldn't be as interested in her if she always followed the rules.

"It happens all the time to me, Izzy wakes me up in the morning and I tell myself, just five more minutes, and then it leads me to this everyday "What class do you have first?" She asked as the elevator reached the bottom floor, we both left it and walked towards the dorm's exit.

"English, I haven't really had much time to figure out where everything is, but I think I have a rough idea" I said trying to place some positivity to what I said, I tend to deter new people with my pessimism. 

"Oh! I have English too, this is great I can show you. Do you know what room you're in?" She asked with a big smile, it was evident in her tone, and pleasant to hear. 

"I got a class number, two secs" I groaned as I began to search each pocket of the new school uniform, until my hand grazed over the Braille class cards I'd gotten from the office, my mom's doing I'm sure. Pulling it out, I quickly scanned over the card "Room 4b" I said as Clary grabbed me and we both took off in a run, her arm entangled with mine, she seemed to be spontaneous, without a doubt this is why Jace responds to her like a hungry shark does to blood.

We came to a halt after a minute or so of sprinting, in the lower floors of the school "We're here" Clary said softly as I heard the door click open, she held it open for me as I entered the room, unsure of what exactly I could do "Over here" Clary said gently as she again took my arm, I wasn't fully comfortable around Clary, but it usually took me time to open up to people. Well, with Magnus being the only exception to date. 

Clary lead me over to a few desks, soft mumbling being a distant sound as I pulled out a chair "Never figured you to be the late kind Alexander" I softly rolled my eyes as I got myself into the chair, folding up my cane and leaning it against the wall beside me.

"I slept in" I grumbled, taking out my laptop and attaching my many assistive devices. All of my keys were braille, with a system running in the background that would read out the word to me as I typed it out. It was a little confusing when the laptop and the teacher both spoke, but normally it turned out okay.

"I'm glad we made it on time. Normally late people get into a lot of trouble, Dot. Well, Mrs Rollins has always had this thing about being punctual, has been since I first met her." Clary said making me wonder how she knew the teacher, she must have sensed it in my face or assumed I wouldn't get it "Mrs Rollins is a friend of my mom's, they met on the same teaching experience." She explained, I nodded my head softly in understanding. 

"Clary's is practically the favourite child of the school. All of the teachers love her."

"That makes me sound obnoxious." She mumbled in response.

"Better than being called a teachers pet." Magnus retorted with a chuckle, to which I'm sure Clary hit him "Blue eyes, switch seats with me. Fray is lethal towards me."

"You provoked it" I replied with a small smirk, to which Magnus responded by poking my side, causing me to jump "Now you're just stuck between two lethal forces." I said elbowing him lightly, he groaned loudly, not because it hurt but because he realised he didn't have any chance to be irritating with the two of us here.

Our small conversation was cut short when Mrs Rollins came into the room, she had decided to have a small introductory to the subject lesson, explaining what would be happening throughout the year, and it was as if time began to fly by. 

And that it did, days blurred into weeks and weeks into months, and before I knew it we were in the last week of October. 

Magnus and I were almost completely inseparable, unintentionally on his behalf I'm sure, but it was like we were joined at the hip, I think it's because I didn't know how to say no to him, things that would have made me want to curl up and hide before, he changed. I went to a party he hosted last week, and I actually had fun, people here weren't all that my worst nightmares had imagined, with the exception of Camille of course. 

For example Catarina, one of Magnus's closest friends was incredibly thoughtful, and Ragnor, well the tall blunt Brit was actually surprisingly emotional. Clary had surprised me probably the most, she seemed to be one of those preppy girls that I didn't enjoy meeting, but I misjudged her, she's a fiery girl with a passionate heart. 

As for Izzy and Jace, nothing changes between us, we grow up of course, but we always seem to just fall back into place as a trio whenever the moment calls for it. Despite this whole school being a whirlwind of new people and places, I feel like I'm not caught up for once. It's like I'm surfing through this storm professionally, and I couldn't be happier. 

\---------------------------------

"Okay, friends, others. Halloween is fast approaching and we have all got to prepare for the festivities" Izzy said cheerfully, her eyes alight at the excitement she felt for Halloween "Now, as previously discussed, this year we won't be allowed to pick our own costumes. Yes Jace, I did consider it, but what's the fun in that?" She said as Jace sunk back down into his seat, I chuckled lightly looking across to Alexander, a natural reaction for me these days. 

"We have cut up everyone's names and shoved them into a hat. Like secret Santa, you just take a name out and there's your person!" Clary said, clearly enjoying this as much as Isabelle was. It was amusing how similar they could be considering that they both have such clashing personalities outside of things like this. 

"Can I go first?" Catarina asked, joining in the excitement, hopping to her feet and pulling a name from the abnormally large hat. Instead of a measly piece of paper, she instead pulled out a clipboard, stacked with pages of confusing information. 

"What the bloody hell are those?" Ragnor asked as he caught sight of the clipboard "Of course, of course you would create a more complicated process within a simple one." He complained, earning a pillow to the face from Jace who laughed as he was hit back. 

"You really want us to be the best dressed don't you Izzy?" Catarina mumbled as he walked back to her seat, browsing through the many pages in her board. I let the others go before me, thinking that it would be best to save me for last. 

"Well, I can't say that everyone will look that great, but rest assured that I will be there to make sure at least one of you don't look horrible." I said teasingly as I looked at the name on my clipboard, much to my dissatisfaction, I was given my good ol' chum Ragnor. His eyes were nothing like the blue I wanted to decorate around. 

"Okay, Halloween is this weekend people, get to work, basically the rest of the school has already left to go shopping now, so be inventive with how you shop!" Izzy said as she practically sprinted out of the room. The others seemed to follow her out, their own conversations creating a mutual noise.

"Aren't you going to join them?" I asked Alec, as he sat still, unfazed by everyone moving. I like to think that at this point in our friendship I can read what he is thinking, but yet, there he goes again, throwing me off my trail.

He turned his head to my general area "Why? I have Internet connection and a credit card, what's the point in going out to buy one?" I chuckled realising that Alec had taken the smartest route "Want to share who you got?" I asked with a small pleading tone.

"It isn't you, I got Jace. And since he so kindly decided to prank me on my birthday, I decided that I would get my own back on him. He's dressing up as his biggest fear" Alec said with a soft chuckle, a little snigger that told me he was out for blood.

"Let me guess, he's dressing as a man without a mirror?" Alec laughed softly, shaking his head no "A ghost?" I added hoping to guess the mysterious costume that would be enough to scare Jace, he shook his head again "Okay, last guess, a werewolf?" He laughed louder, holding his side slightly.

"You're never going to believe how funny it is" He said between laughing fits "Jace will be dressing as-- as a-- a duck!" I looked at Alec with a flabbergasted expression, surely he had to be kidding around. But when I looked at the boy who couldn't contain his laughter, I realised just how honest he was being. And it filled me with laughter too, joining Alec, flopping down beside him on the common area couch. 

We both sat there, laughing at the thought of Jace seeing his costume, Alec having me help him pick one out that would freak him out the most, deciding on a massive suit with a mascot like head, with beady eyes and a wicked smile "He's going to love it Alexander, truly you are an innovative genius" I said jokingly, as Alec chuckled some more, if I could capture one sound in this word in a jar, it would be Alexander's laugh. 

"Next time, he'll be sure to remember the consequences of his stupid actions," Alec said with a proud grin, as we both came down from our laughter he turned his head toward me "What about you? Don't you need to get a costume for whoever you have?" He asked, having become slightly more quiet now.

"Well, I already got the easiest option in Ragnor, so I'll just make something for him in Home Economics" I explained, Ragnor was a Brit, so I would just go with a British stereotype to annoy him. I can't allow for his irritating me to be one-sided now can I? 

"I still think it's really cool that you know how to make clothes. It just seems a little too tedious for me to try and do it." I shrugged softly, a natural response that I hadn't seemed to have been able to break around Alec.

"Well, it can be irritating. I've spent many hours working on one shirt just to realise that I've been using the wrong stitching or material. Which, happens a lot. Materials may feel different, but they look very similar when labelled wrong." I said thinking of all of the poor shirts that never were. 

"Well, as much as I would love to sit and talk more about fabrics and stuff, I have to get started on the English essay for next week." I groaned audibly, deciding that Alexander wouldn't be leaving, so I hopped across and landed on him, enclosing his waist in my arms.

"Nope. It's a whole week away, you're going to sit here and listen to me talk more" I said teasingly, he huffed as he tried to move, but I wasn't allowing it. After five minutes of him trying to go, he sighed and laid back down.

"You're so childish." He mumbled as he laid like a log underneath me, to which I simply grinned.

"And you're too uptight Lightwood, you need to take some time to relax, I call it the influence of Magnus" He scoffed, huffily sighing, an adorably childish thing for someone who scolds me for being childish. 

"I'm not uptight. I just want to make sure I'm not falling behind."

"She gave out the assignment two days ago, you're not going to be behind considering everyone including myself will do it the night or morning before." 

"But--"

"But nothing Alec, you're going to chill out and be a normal teenager." I said firmly, to which he rolled his eyes, at least it looked like he did behind his glasses.

"Being normal isn't fun." He mumbled, one hand landing on my head. Before either one of us knew what was happening, Alec was feeling my hair, twirling the short yet long enough strands in his fingers. I felt like I could fall asleep in his arms, feeling his fingers practically massaging my head.

I had sat up to allow myself to look as he continued to feel my hair. Shortly after, his fingers began to move across my forehead, gliding against small features, until he'd gone all the way down to my chin. I didn't want to ruin the moment by speaking, but instead decided to do the same to him. 

Gently I moved my hands onto his cheeks, cupping them before copying his actions and feeling the features of his face. For him, it was probably to get a better idea of what I looked like, but for me it was a matter of touching art. They always want you to keep your hands off the most beautiful things, to preserve them. But Alec's face was something that I couldn't resist. If he was in a gallery, I'd steal him. 

"Ugh get a freaking room!" I turned as I saw Camille storming out, with a huffy expression that made both Alec and I laugh. I awkwardly cleared my throat as Alexander hid his face by looking down, adjusting his glasses. Camille being annoyed at our moment was enough for me to grin for the rest of the day. And later as I sat down, beginning a very British costume, I knew the fabric would never feel as perfect as Alec's face felt in my hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, apologies for the delay, exams are fast approaching and stress is consuming me. But I hope to add one more chapter before I take a break for full exam studying.


	7. Walking with a cane down memory lane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly I apologise completely for what must have seemed like the end of this novel. I can assure you that this novel is not nearing its end for a short while. I had taken a month off from writing because I had exams (finals) and needed time to study. Now that I'm finished I should be back to my weekly updating schedule. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy!

The best part about sleeping in is that all of your concerns are washed away in moments. All of the moments of stress and activity are placed on hold whilst you consult your inner sanity supervisor whose recommendation is to take time to think everything through and catch up on needed slumber. The best part about sleeping in is the awareness it grants you when you wake up far too late to even consider breakfast. But most importantly, the best part about sleeping in is that once you planned to sleep in, you got to sleep in. 

The loud knocking on my door made me want to scream out in anger, "May I help you?" Of course, the one morning I intended on sleeping in, I would be met with Jace Lightwood, standing fully dressed at whatever God damn time it is. His face seemed to be scrunched up, with a furrowed brow that didn't give me the best thoughts of what was about to happen. 

"We need to talk." He grumbled through closed teeth, the sound being particularly unpleasant.

"You're breaking up with me? I'm hurt, but I guess it was you, not me," I murmured sarcastically as I pulled the door open for him to enter. He seemed to have a invisible thundercloud following him, or maybe raining above him. 

"I need you to stop talking to Alec." He said as I closed the door, I turned to him and scoffed, whatever made him think that I was going to just take his word amused me "Why would I have to do that?" I asked him in response, going along with whatever odd thing has fuelled him up.

"The last time someone was this close to Alec, they left him like a shitty owner leaves their rabid dog." He said, making me question what made him think I was going to treat Alec like that "The last time someone got this close to Alec, he just stopped talking altogether, and none of my family want for that to happen again." Softly I shook my head at the blonde. 

"The last time Alec was this close to someone he was in a relationship with them. Not to break your ship or anything, but I'm not dating your brother," He opened his mouth to object before I cut him off "I'm not sleeping around with him either. Alec is my friend, one of the best ones I have right now, so please don't think that I would do something to upset him. Or your family for that matter, your sister has already run me through the strict guidelines of being Alec's friend and I fully understand what I'm doing." I said making him turn almost as mute as he claims his brother was the last time he dated someone "You know Alec wouldn't appreciate this, he's a grown boy who can make his own decisions Jace. I like that you care so much for him, but I'm not whoever that last person was. And I think you already know that, but you're being cautious, it's understandable"

Of course, now I knew more about Alexander's past and was motivated to ask him about it, just to see what I had to avoid. Unfortunately, my emotions aren't my best point of understanding another person. Camille and I, whilst it's hard and irritating to admit, are a lot alike, we both seem to think about our emotions after everything else we could find to go through first. I preferred to notice her snarky attitude before I noticed her small smiles. So this time, to avoid a demon, I'm going at this like I assume most people do. By connecting and discovering what emotions fuel Alec, before I decide to jump down his throat. 

Jace awkwardly raised his arm up and scratched his neck "Well, uh, sorry about this," He paused before asking "So you're sure you don't like Alec?" As he left the dorm room. Once he was outside I chuckled "I hadn't said that I don't like your brother, it's just that nothing has happened, yet." I said as I closed the door on a re-fuelled Jace, as he knocked on the door, I walked over and shoved in my headphones, going back to the well earned sleeping in. 

\---------------------------------

I had spent the majority of my morning studying, I felt it was better than wasting time on stupid things, plus, it took me almost twice as long to study as it did for others. I recognised that I was disadvantaged when it came to education, but that wasn't enough to put my spirits down. I'd always felt the harshness of being disadvantaged and had come to find that pitying myself didn't do me any good. So I stopped it.

Neatly placing each of my Braille flash cards in their assorted slots I sighed in content, the day was mine to do with as I pleased now. I considered going to see Izzy or Jace, but decided against it, they really seemed to have joined all of our other friends on this wild bandwagon for Halloween. Essentially turning me into the Scrooge of Halloween, without the money and nightgown. I could have gone for a jog, but that wasn't the easiest to do alone. I could go wake up Magnus who was sure to be sleeping, but I didn't want to disturb his rest. I decided eventually after arguing each minuscule plan, that I was going to go for a walk around campus, it was early enough to be most empty, but late enough to get some sun. 

I pulled on a light jacket and grabbed my cane, walking to the elevator, going to the ground floor and then exiting the ghost like building. The welcoming embrace of the sun brought me some happiness, I liked this kind of weather, where the breeze that brushed through my hair was lukewarm. I think I began to hum at one point during my walk, passing what, if memory served right, was the auditorium, my suspicions being confirmed with the sound of what I think was violin, possibly a viola, echoing from the large building, the string group must have been practicing for the upcoming fall festival that I truly hoped I could avoid with precise planning and execution.

Walking further, I reached the entry area of the school, where we were first dropped off by Cal. I think teachers and the oldest students kept their cars and bikes here, bikes sound fun. The only bike I've ever rode was the tandem one that dad insisted on when I was younger, it was sure as hell humiliating but I couldn't stop smiling as we rode together, feeling normal. 

I started to think about normality but was yanked out of that rabbit hole quickly as I heard yelling from the parking lot "I don't care, you're the fucking worst father who only ever cared about a daughter and wife that clearly don't need you!" I halted on the spot trying to flush the sudden flood of remembrance, turning immediately I began to walk off, hoping that if I walked away quickly I could break the space time continuum. 

The arguing seemed to have stopped as I walked off, I was moving fast enough to feel my breath pick up, with the cannon fire that was my heart firing again and again in a distressed state. Surely I was just imagining things, I wouldn't be unlucky enough to go to the same school as my, ex? Is ex the right term for what we were? He never confirmed it or anything... 

As I slowed my pace down to calm my irregular sharp breaths, I would of course be the lucky one who was called on. I considered sprinting, I had began folding my cane up and everything. But, at the last minute, I chickened out, hearing the footsteps behind me. 

"Well, what are the odds?" I wanted to tear off my own skin after his voice crawled down my spine. I had stopped walking, wanting nothing more than to keep moving "Alexander, I didn't know you'd be coming to a 'real' school, in my opinion it's for the best, being cooped up in your bedroom wouldn't have helped you at all." And so it began again, the belittling, the horrid feeling of being less than him. 

"Sebastian." I said in a soft tone, underlying anger bubbling like boiled water "I didn't realise I asked for your opinion." I stated coldly, powering through the shaky self-esteem he gave me with a few words, and walking away with my shoulders in a poised position, perfectly placing each step to show him how little I cared about what he had to say. 

"Well, damn. I didn't expect a make-out session or something, but not even a hug?" I scoffed as I kept walking "You actually think I'd give you the time of day after what you put me through?" I snapped back, a sudden attitude finding its way to the surface, unleashing the relentless pain that almost consumed me last year. 

"Okay, so you're mad at me..." I almost laughed at him, but instead gave a solid storm off, hoping he'd take a hint and leave me be "Alec you knew I was going through a lot at the time!" He called to me, making me frown, I gave all the support I could muster up for him, and in return he made me feel like more of a freak. 

"Yes, I did. And in return for helping you in anyway I could, you stole from me, you attacked me and you caused me a lot of unneeded stress. So do me one favour, after all the ones I did for you, and leave me alone." I said in a cold, monotone, narrowed eyes glaring towards his general direction "Fuck you. You think I give a shit about what you went through? I didn't do anything, you know what?! You're just like my mom, running off and abandoning all the people that needed you." With each step I heard, I was just reminded again and again why I was glad I got my space. 

"Sebastian leave me alone." I mumbled, feeling like my voice itself was losing volume. His presence alone being enough to weaken the progress I'd built from being apart from him. Turning around I walked away quickly trying to get into the main part of campus, hoping I would at least be in sight if he tried to hurt me.

"Walk away Alec, yeah just walk away." He called from behind making my skin crawl. The second I'd reached the dorms I rushed to the shower room after collecting my things, I needed to clear my head and the only thing that didn't take a long time to help with that, was showering. Cleansing myself of everything I could think of him. 

When I entered the shower room, I entered the disabled shower, needing the handles that were on the walls to keep myself from accidentally slipping. Also, I liked to be alone, keeping my skin to myself. I hadn't fully healed and the last thing I wanted was someone forcing their pity in a way that resembled concern. 

Once I'd changed and entered the isolated shower, I sighed softly flipping the handle and adjusting it to the right heat. When the water splashed on my shoulders I felt it embracing me and making my woes seem less than what I'd been picturing them as. The funny thing about Sebastian being at this school was that no one knew who he was, I never told them his name or his story because I didn't know the full story, but mainly I just didn't want them to talk to him. At first it was a worry that they'd scare him off, but slowly it morphed into a worry that it would be him scaring them, like he scared me. 

I poured some shower gel into my hand and shivered as I rolled it down my back, it was awkward to place it there, but with the right angle I could just cover the majority of my back. Sebastian and I, we weren't meant for each other, truth be told I didn't know if he was meant for anyone. 

Our relationship was toxic, but I couldn't figure that out when he did such horrible things in seemingly sweet ways. He'd kiss my neck and bite it too hard, but then he'd tell me it was so he would always be there with me when he couldn't be around. He'd grab my arms and pin me down when we tried anything remotely sexual and when he gripped hard enough to leave a bruise, he'd tell me that it was my fault that he wanted to touch me that badly. And worst of all, when he got upset about his parents divorcing, well, he wasn't fond of real punching bags when they couldn't give the reactions I gave. It's strange, I never thought that I would be someone who could be manipulated, but I'm sure everyone thinks that before it happens to them. I flipped my head around when I thought I heard the sound of someone humming near me, but when I pulled my head from underneath the water all I could hear was some minor background noise of people entering the shower room, the closing of the door and the noise of a shower being turned off but not much else. Shaking my head I went back to washing myself.

After washing and vigorously scrubbing myself clean, I felt that I could go back to my room and just spend the weekend there instead of leaving. As I wrapped the towel around my waist I froze upon hearing a whistle, one of those obnoxious catcalls that made anyone cringe "You've gotten taller." Hearing Sebastian's hushed voice stunned me, was he here that entire time?

"I've got to say, it's been too long since I've seen you naked. You still look somewhat near as good as before, a better haircut now though, less emo. But you're missing something, I wonder what it could be," I shivered as I heard his tone go lower "Oh yeah, me." I hesitantly stepped backwards until I felt the wall against my back. The cool surface making my heated body frozen in seconds "Now Alec, I got myself some pretty pictures of you just now. And you know I am sorry I can't show you them, but if you could see this would be the first thing I'd show. It's so funny seeing how your body looks after you got sad, those scars are hideous and I wish you wouldn't have ruined yourself like that." I felt like screaming, crying...cutting.

"W-What do you want from me...?" I said shakily, the nerves clear in my voice, making Sebastian laugh softly "I don't want anything from you, well, anything other than for you to beg for me not to spread these around the school that is." Of course he would want this, Sebastian craves power, probably to fill how much of it he lacks in the rest of his life.

"Go on," He said through a clear grin, one that made me only associate him with horror movie killers. He sounded like them a lot, being both deluded and power hungry "Please don-"

"No, no, no. I want the proper begging, on your knees, beg me like the slave you resemble." I felt my lower lip quiver as I got onto my knees, looking down to the ground as I tried again, before I spoke I felt my hair being tugged to force my head up "Last chance. Fuck this up and the whole school gets a real good look at you Alec." 

I could feel the tears in my eyes, they weren't going to fall but they glistened my eyes undoubtedly "Sebastian, pl-please don't do anything with those pictures..." I begged, my voice cold and drained of life. That's what Sebastian was to me, something that could drain my life force better than a necromancer draining the life force of a goblin on the paradian trail. When I had finished speaking the shower room was filled with silence, I heard the door keeping me inside open and then slam shut. He'd left, taking away the last of my dignity with him. 

\---------------------------------

'Hey :P' I chuckled at the stupidity of adding a smiley face when I texted Alec, but sometimes I'm sure he found them funny.

'Magnus, hello.' Alec texted like he talked, in a way that made him sound like a Disney villain.

'How are you?'

'I've been better truthfully, you?'

'Been better? You better be unlocking your door right now because I don't allow people called Alexander Gideon Lightwood to be upset'

'Who told you my middle name? And it's fine, I need some time alone' He replied a few moments later, Alec was a relatively fast replier and I appreciate that a lot.

'Isabelle. And I expect the door to be open by the time I get along there, or I wake up the hallway again' 

'K' I frowned at the response, then chuckled remembering that Alec had learned that I truly hated when someone responded like that, it was so unclear and put me in a position of being cautious or conflicted when I talked to that person again. 

Of course, it was late, Alec and I seemed to be an odd couple of people who met at the late hours of the night and didn't hook up. Shaking my head I pulled a hoodie on and rushed along to Alec's room. I knocked on the door and waited patiently to see my best friend. 

When he opened the door I felt myself becoming extremely concerned, why was he so pale? Why were all the lights off? And was he feeling okay? When I entered the room and he latched himself onto me in a tight hug I immediately knew something was up "Woah, hey there, what's wrong blue eyes?" He wasn't crying, I don't know if I could handle seeing him cry "Hey, hey, calm down" I said rubbing the back of his head as I heard his frantic breathing.

"Magnus...I'm freaking out and I don't know what to do" I hushed him by rubbing the back of his head softly, taking complete control and lifting him up to get onto his bed. Of course Alec wasn't the lightest person ever, and it was difficult to find his bed in the dark, and even though I was no superhuman in strength, I knew he was worth carrying across a dark room. 

"How about you start from the beginning and tell me what's happened?" I asked, hoping that if I maintained my cool, that he would find his. He took a few short breaths before he pulled out from my chest, making our positioning suddenly uncomfortable "I don't want to talk about it Magnus, I just, I want to pretend that it's not even happening."

"Alexander, that will change nothing." I said softly, looking at the saddened expression on his face and wanting to punch anything that could cause this "But, I respect your wishes. So we're going to deal with your worries in the same way that most people do. We're going to hug it out." Alec quirked an eyebrow at my comment before I captured him in a hug. Of course it was odd to think of Alec as a friend when I did things like this, but I like to see friend as a transitional stage to being together, as much as I hoped he did too. 

"You're such a sap." Alec mumbled beside my right ear, awkwardly finding a way to hug me back. Alec hugged like a skeleton being posed would in the beginning, it was stiff and at times uncomfortable, but once he'd settled down and gotten comfy, he was like a gooey pile of cuteness.

"Well, if being a sap means I can hug my friend, then I'm the biggest sap there has ever been." Alec was smiling against my shoulder, and I was smiling against his. Once Alec was comfortable, I felt one of his hands venturing into my dark brown hair, his fingers stroking and massaging my head in a way that had my eyes droopy and tired. Alec and I didn't speak much during times like these, I worried that if I tried to talk to him about it, his actions would have just been platonic like if Izzy and I did this. 

"Do you mind if I stay ov-"

"No." I sleepily smiled as I let his touch consume me, taking ahold of his lower back. I felt better knowing he was close, that way I wouldn't have to worry about him in my sleep. When I felt myself dosing off, I mumbled a small goodnight, happy as he returned what I had to say with his kind tone. Alec was something else.


	8. Just leave

Alec was special. His lack of sight meant he could see things that no one else could at first, especially because his judgement didn't rely on appearances. If you wanted Alec to like you, you'd have to be a person worth liking. And so laying here in the morning, with a sleepy Alec, was so much more satisfying when knowing he didn't just like being around me because of physical reasons, but instead the opposite. 

I knew it was probably beyond creepy of me to watch him as he slept and was coming to, but his face made such minuscule movements that made him look adorable beyond belief. And of course, to some extent I knew he felt the same about me, I don't think I've ever met anyone who would let me hold them like this under the circumstance of being "just friends". But fear of rejection was one of those things that made my doubt grow stronger and stronger. What if it lead to him hating me? I don't think I could handle the pain of Alec hating me. 

"Mmn" Alec softly mumbled as he opened his eyes, blue orbs being met with minimal light because of my body casting a shadow over him. He took a short moment to recognise his environment before I saw him smile, the kind of smile that wasn't big or exaggerated, but rather slight and concealed if not looked at closely "Mo'ning" He said sleepily as he lowered his head back onto the pillow.

"Sleep well?" I asked with a smile, leaning against one elbow as I moved in the bed, needing to stretch myself out a little. His small smile grew a little "Very, you make a nice human pillow." He said seriously with an undertone of lightheartedness "Well, you know all I do is aim to please. I couldn't allow you to sleep on cotton, it's blasphemy." I exclaimed dramatically, gaining a snicker and a soft tap against the arm. 

I had never been one to like sharing beds, from the experiences I've had, sleeping beside someone else was either too hot and clammy, or it was downright stiff and uncomfortable. And it put me off the idea of sleeping beside another person, but after my little visit here at night a few weeks before, I'd wanted nothing more than to move in and share this unusually large bed. 

"You're such a dick." He mumbled as he had finished laughing at my dramatic side "You just, you make it comfier here that's all. It's nice, not being alone all the time, and it's a big room y'know" I smiled sincerely, Alec wouldn't directly tell me that he liked to hug and be with me, but I knew what he meant when he said that "Well, you know that I'll be here, if you want me to be." I said seriously, with a faint smile. 

He rolled his eyes as he pushed himself up, still in the clothes of last night like I was. It was amazing how he was able to get out of bed so easily with no vision, and I was a walking mess with little to no grace in this one aspect of life. Gently he hummed as he went to grab what I assumed was his clothes for the day, when he opened his closet I wanted to cry. Everything was so generic, so plain and so unbefitting of someone so breathtaking "Alec, your clothes are so, bland." He turned and scoffed, his face turning into a frown.

"No they aren't!" He yelled with a playful tone, I could tell he knew that his clothes weren't extravagant and he was just trying to mess with me "Okay, hardy har har. Can I please restyle everything you wear ever? I am pained looking at so much of the same. You need sweaters, button-up's, I'd even accept a new coat." He looked at me with his brow raised, clearly egging me on, but I couldn't help but take the bait.

"You have such a great figure, it's illegal to have it so confined, I feel like I'm looking into a future where you've been arrested. Please, please, please," I got up for emphasis, taking his hands in desperation "Let me restyle you." He smiled lightly, his eyes softening and shining against the light that couldn't affect him, meaning they could glimmer all day long if he wanted. He leaned in close, causing me to wonder what was about to happen, his heavenly smile all I could see "No." He said laughing in hysterics, like he was the master of trickery himself. 

I groaned whilst falling into the bed and meanwhile he just merrily pranced off to get changed in the bathroom. I couldn't decide on leaving to go get changed myself or staying and forcing Alec into listening to me for the day. A whole bunch of procrastination later, and I still hadn't budged from his bed, it was so much comfier than mine, I think, part of me was just convincing myself that everything with Alec around was better, when realistically there probably were some things my own room had better. 

I felt a gentle poke to my lower back "You breathe heavily." Alec pointed out as I turned to face him "You smell nice!" I yelled back as I realised that it wasn't an insult 

"What?"  
"What?" We both said in unison, before sharing a slight laugh "Thank you." He mumbled as he took his phone out placing a headphone in and beginning to do what I assume was texting due to the green bubbles, I wonder who he's texting, let's hope there wasn't a mystery boy he was in love with that isn't me  
"Izzy seems to think that you being here is bad for the two of us," He said chuckling "Think you're going to rob me of my innocence, she's so dramatic" I quirked a brow, wondering which part of the concern made it dramatic "Here I was ready to make love to you this second" I said half-lying, his ears were turning red but he remained as cool as a cucumber "Well, you know I don't listen to my sister. Try it." He said with a tone that made me question whether he was being serious or joking.

"Blue eyes, I wouldn't rob you of anything. When you grow up we'll have the talk, and I'll tell you about your innocence being taken nicely then." He seemed to have smirked at me, before his facial expression softened into a pout "But you promised that after I shared a bed with another boy that you'd tell me about it" He said playfully with added an added tone that made him sound hilariously childish.

"That doesn't count with me" I replied and he chuckled "You want some breakfast?" He asked as he pulled a pair of socks on "I know that you will get cranky if we don't feed you" He said as he got up, finding his hand onto my cheek and then patting it patronisingly "Watch your fingers Lightwood, or I'll just eat them to be less cranky" I said jokingly earning a small laugh.

"Well well, looks like someone hasn't gotten their snickers yet." He noted with a tut, I laughed back at him, deciding that my clothes from the night before would be fine to get some breakfast in, pulling on my shoes as I spoke to him "Let's get moving blue eyes, I don't want to fight anyone else for food. It wouldn't be fair for them" He laughed loudly at that one "Hey, watch it" I warned him lightheartedly. 

"But I'm blind, I can't watch anything," He said snorting softly "Oh no you didn't" I said as he opened the door, cane in hand "I believe I just did." He said with a grin, I couldn't help the smile that took over my face as I followed him out beginning a pointless playful argument over him using his blindness as a way to mess with me. 

\---------------------------------

Magnus was fun. He epitomised everything I'd wanted to be, happy, kind and caring. Instead I was a miserable, cold and ignorant friend who's only ex-boyfriend would rather humiliate him in a shower room than move on like a normal person. I'm weird and attract weird people, and never the ones I want to attract. 

Magnus holds me. I know that he's more of the friendly type and so it won't mean what I want it to mean. But every time he holds me, I feel my heart racing, my mouth dries up, and my face is frozen in an everlasting smile. And if that doesn't scream I love you, I don't know what does, so that just leaves me believing that Magnus doesn't like me back. He hasn't even specified his sexuality, and I can't assume it in case I offend him and lose what could be one of the nicest people I've ever met, and I've only known Magnus for a few months now. 

"Oy, Lightwood, spacing out on me isn't cool." He said from across the table, I offered him an apologetic look after I had shaken my head to clear my thoughts "So, you know I'm not pushing you to speak about it. But I'm pretty worried about what was freaking you out last night. Again, not pushing but if it's something serious I'd want you to know you can tell me" He was too kind, it felt unfair to be around someone so kind, also to be keeping things from them. But I didn't know what to do, telling Magnus was last on the list of things I wanted to do "Don't worry about it. It was just a silly thing, Izzy texted me telling me that I had no reason to worry" I could tell from the pause between us that he probably didn't believe me. 

He hummed as a reply, making me feel a little nervous, was he annoyed at me? The humming suggests that I've either annoyed him to the point that he refuses to waste his words on me, or-- he gulped and then I had to stop myself from laughing, he was eating, silly me "I won't push you, but lying to me won't help either blue eyes" He's good. Of course I wouldn't expect anything less "Okay, okay, I lied. But I swear it's only because the thing I'm worried about is so stupid. If I just avoid them then it will be okay" In seconds I wished I had stopped talking because it now sounded like I was the one deer being hunted by a skilled hunter. 

"Avoid who?," Magnus was as defensive as Izzy and Jace, both concerning and encouraging to me "Can we not talk about this? Jace and Izzy would flip out." He wasn't going to budge, so if I could just try and get him off my case for now then I could try and have the situation resolved. 

"Alec. You don't always have to do things alone," He placed a hand on mine and I felt those same feelings again, I wanted to cry and tell him everything, but how could I start? What would happen to myself and Magnus if anything were to be said to the wrong person. I'm sure that Camille would love it, to humiliate me like Sebastian could. Magnus would leave and go right to her, laughing at my misfortune, because they always do. There isn't any point of getting close to someone when things like this happen "I, uh, I'm going to go study, I'll see you later." I said abruptly, needing air, needing to get to my place of isolation, just to feel safe again. I couldn't risk this, being out in the open was hard and I couldn't bring myself to deal with Magnus choosing Camille as his friend or girlfriend, or whatever they'd be. 

"Uh, Alec, I'm sorry if I'm pushing too much, I'm just" I walked off before he could finish, feeling my breathing already pick up. The elevator ride to my room was one of the most horrible things I'd felt to date, I genuinely wanted it to snap and plummet me to my death. 

Why does this have to happen? Sebastian knows that he's ruining me but he just doesn't care and I hate that. Why do I have to be the one who suffers from his ways? 'I tried to give you up once. But your mom would never, and I don't get why. You question our faith, and you are broken because of it. God must have taken your sight for not believing.' I slammed the door shut, holding myself up against the door and trying to control the overflowing anger and sadness.

"Well, aren't you being dramatic today?" I wanted to scream out, or just attack the voice "So now that I have some leverage, I thought we could have some fun. Like old times, y'know you were always so curious when you touched me. And I've not been touched for a couple of weeks now." I wanted to throw up, I felt like I might "But, I don't think now is the best time for that, see I have a date in an hour or so, but later on tonight, I'll be back. Don't answer and you'll regret it." I felt like I was being emptied of my dignity and happiness like a keg at a frat party. 

He walked past me, and I couldn't move, this was happening again. He was going to do this again, and unless I wanted to show everyone my body, complete with scars, then I'd have no choice in the matter. These are the times where I know that I'm not like most people, that I'm less than they are. Because the people who can see, would have been able to stop Sebastian from taking pictures of them. They would have been able to hide, but I wasn't them. I was so carefree and he knew exactly how to use that against me. 

I crumpled down onto the floor, the carpet my only comfort, as I felt myself begin to cry. I was weak, defenceless, and now once again the broken toy Sebastian was breaking further. 

\---------------------------------

When Alec had begun to run away from me, I was already out of my chair, prepared to tackle him if I needed to. But as my luck would have it, someone had re-summoned the she-devil Camille Belcourt herself "Look at him go, you'd think he would hit a door or something but no, he's a trained freak." 

"Shut the fuck up Camille. Alec isn't a freak, we put cold-hearted bitches on the list of freaks light years before considering the blind." I was taking this so seriously, I am sick and tired of Alec's feelings being threatened by people like her. He'd said before that she wasn't the first person he'd had to deal with, and if I couldn't change them, I sure as hell was about to change this bimbo's "Camille, you really better back the fuck off from Alec or I swear to god I'll post your time on my family yacht online. I'm sure everyone would love to see you puke all over yourself and proceed to try and wash your hair with it."

"You said you'd deleted that!" 

"Yeah, well I lied, clearly some part of me knew that it would help deflect you. Garlic and holy water hasn't done anything" I said sarcastically, watching as she stormed off, suddenly filled with pride at the battle I'd won.

Back to Alec, I had rushed up to his room. But I stepped out of the elevator I saw my eyes catch onto a boy with white hair and pretty pale skin, he looked somewhat albino. He was walking away from Alec's side of the hallway, as I walked toward him. Something about him just felt too, off. Like seeing the wolf dressed up as grandma, it just made my stomach turn as he caught eye contact with me. 

Once I'd heard the elevator close, I had reached Alec's door. I knocked on it softly "Alec, hey, I know you're not up for talking. But I can just be quiet and sit with you," I leaned my head against the door to try and hear if he was coming across, when I couldn't hear anything I continued to speak, hoping he'd hear it "I hate leaving you alone. So come open the door and we can talk about it." Again I was met with silence, hearing the faintest of sounds that I soon began to realise was his crying, that made me want to both attack something and cry with him at the same time "I'm going to stand out here until you let me in." I said hoping to ease him into letting me in. 

"Mag-Magnus, just go away pl-please" He cried and I waned to kick the door down "Do you really want that?" I asked hoping he'd say he didn't. After a few moments of silence he replied "Yes." And so I left, because he asked for me to, I couldn't push him anymore than I had today. 

\---------------------------------

And so, it had began, I was pushing away the only people that I cared for. And I knew that it wasn't the right move, but I couldn't bring them into this. Sebastian was manipulative on a whole other level, he would start to hurt me and them too. And I couldn't forgive myself if something bad was to happen to them. 

And so I laid there, up until I heard the knocking at the door late in the night. I knew what was about to happen, and it made me feel sick. But hey, at least I can't see it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I genuinely feel bad for Alec myself in this chapter. Thanks for reading and I hoped your emotions are as messed as mine are because of Sebastian.


	9. You're my recovering process

Chapter 9

Standing with my back slumped against the shower wall had lost its pleasure. It was no longer a place to relax and unwind, it felt dirtied, the shower room mirrored how I felt. Used.

Sebastian is a cruel human, he knows this, and he doesn't care. It makes things harder for me, trying to tell someone who lacks empathy to have some. He doesn't want to offer what he truly doesn't possess and that is why I've become quiet.

I've thought about telling the others, but what would I do if other people really did see those pictures? This is my first attempt at having a normal life, I've always been closed off from what everyone else has, sight, schooling, friends, you name it. And for once I have made friends, normal friends, I'm at a normal school, for normal people and sure I can't change my sight being abnormal, but I'm able to change the rest. And I'll be damned if I give Sebastian a reason to tear everything, I've grown happy with, down.

Finishing up quickly, I dried off, harshly scrubbing my skin clean of the night before. Sebastian was filthy, he would always take things one at a time. He hadn't stolen my virginity, he knows it's hard to deny clear evidence like that. Instead he has me do things with him, uses my hands like they were made for his control. My mouth hasn't been used besides the uncommon forced kiss. And as for, well, that, he never touches me. He orders me around, and I listen because I know exactly what he'll do if I don't, he'll ruin the little reputation I have here. The worst part of it all is that my body responds like he wants it to, and I hate it. How can I consider what he does to be rape when my body reacts like that?

I felt sick again, shaking it off the best that I could at this time of the day, I dressed and got myself ready for class. I could tell that all I would hear about today was Halloween, it was only a few days away from the dreaded holiday. One that sure hadn't sounded all that fun before Sebastian made his presence clear, but now it sounded even worse.

Sighing as I walked into my English classroom, I sat down in my seat and laid my head on the desk. Maybe if I was lucky Sebastian would grow a heart and leave me alone. That's all I want, to be away from him, to be away from feeling this way.

\---------------------------------

"Alexander? Why are you asleep on the desk?" He looks so tired, that's all I can think when he lifts his head off the table. Of course, as teenagers, we all look a little tired from time to time. We aren't responsible with our sleeping patterns, plus studies have shown that we're more awake and alert at night because the developing teenage brain learns best from 11am instead of around 8am like it is here. Circling back to my point, Alec looks like he's beyond tired, and as acting admirer of a certain Lightwood, I have the right to be overly concerned and want to let him rest more.

"Sleepy" He mumbled, he didn't sound any better than he looked currently, his voice was a lot like the other night, but this time around with a less frantic and anxious tone behind it. I knew that persistence wasn't going to help in this situation so I backed away from questioning him. If he wanted me to know, he'd tell me, regardless of how much I wish I could just know what was bothering him now.

"How did you find the homework guys?" Clary asked as her fiery mane swung into sight, her hair was natural despite how many pointless rumours were spread around that she got it dyed every few days. But I knew better, not to sound like a know it all, but I'm pretty amazing at dealing with hair, and clothes, and make-up, overall I'm pretty damn amazing at dealing with appearances.

"I found it fine, never been a fan of essays but it was easy enough" I replied, looking to Alec to see what his response may have been "Oh, that was for today? Crap" He murmured as his face was sent into a frantic expression, his hands floated around his notebook, trying to grab hold of what pages he had in it, running his index finger across the top of the page in attempts of figuring out what page was what.

"It's okay Alec, I'm sure Mrs Rollins will understand. Did you forget to do it or forget to pick it up?" I asked him with slight concern, Alec was punctual in more than one aspect of life so this was surprising to see. He looked in my direction and sighed gently "Do you think she'll let me hand it in by the end of the day? I finished it but just hadn't packed my stuff away right." He sounded so disheartened, most people didn't seem to care about the consequences of forgetting one piece of homework, but his responses were that of genuine hurt, it fits his personality, how much he cares for things like education.

"No worries Alec, Mrs Rollins is kind about this stuff, she has some sort of three strikes and you're out policy. She'll let it slide especially because it was just a mishap." Clary said joining into the chorus of reassurance for Alec.

He smiled lightly, his tired wide eyes relaxing to a less alerted look, maybe he wasn't feeling well? Regardless, class went by as usual and Mrs Rollins didn't seem the slightest bit bothered that Alec couldn't hand in his work, easing him greatly. That didn't excuse his behaviour but trying to get Alec to talk about something he was clearly not willing to talk about was a bad move.

\---------------------------------

> Hey there

< Magnus, to what do I owe the pleasure?

> Please Catarina, less formalities, so unneeded

< Whaddup bruh?

> I preferred the formalities after all

< Suit yourself

> Speaking of clothing, would you like to tell me what I'll be going as for Halloween?

< What makes you think I've got you?

> A certain Brit who can't keep his mouth shut

< Ragnor can kiss his hair goodbye, it's his time

> Now now, he's just a little loose tongued

< I'm aware ;)

> Christ, thanks for the disturbing visual Catarina

< Anytime, I like being one of the only women that can scar you.

> So?

< So what?

> What am I going as?

< Wait and see, do you even have any patience?

> Not much, so tell me

< no.

> pls

< again no.

> pls tho.

< Magnus, I will tell Alec about the summer of 2012

> You wouldn't

< Try me

> Easy now, easy now

< That's what I thought.

> Cruel woman.

< <3

> use the emoji grandma

< I'm telling him

> Catarina pls, don't do this

> Catarina

> Catarina!

< don't cross me Bane

> I won't, I promise

< Good.

I sighed gently tossing my phone down, Catarina was normally quite reasonable about most things, but she loved planning surprises, so trying to take a surprise away from her was what I could only resemble in our world as trying to take a cub from its mother.

A light buzzing emitted from my phone a few moments of sulking after, I accepted the call and placed it against my ear "...Magnus?" It was Alec, his voice was a little shaky but it was him "Alexander? Are you okay? Is something wrong" I said barraging him with my concern.

I could hear a small chuckle through the phone "Not really, but I wanted you to come up onto the roof, I've been here for a while and it's nice here." I immediately assumed the worst hearing Alec was somewhat sad and on the roof, but that concern faded when he continued talking "See you in 5" He said hanging up on me.

I don't even know if Alec knew that he had me wrapped around his finger, but I sprung to my feet and got to the roof as fast as I could. The sun was setting and Alec sat alone with a blanket over his shoulders "Magnus, is that you?" He called out as the door closed behind me "Yeah it's me." I replied as I walked over and sat down beside him.

"How did you get that door open? So many people have tried to get onto this roof for parties and stuff, but didn't have any luck." I explained to him, softly smiling when he turned to face me with a charming grin and a key in one hand "Being the son of the principal has its perks." He said spinning the key around his finger for emphasis.

"Breaking the rules and abusing authority. Alexander, you should be ashamed of yourself." I said jokingly.

"I should be ashamed of myself...shouldn't I?" He said faintly, his tone low and expression, down.

"What do you mean?"

"This roof is a nice place huh? It offers some solitude. I'm just a regular Kal-El in his fortress up here." He said with a small chuckle, I couldn't quite get the reference but the point was clear enough.

"Yeah, I can't say I've ever been up here before. But it's cool, isolated" I commented as I gazed around the rooftop curiously.

"It reminds me of when me, Izzy and Jace would go into that big tree outside our house. Jace would be the Captain of the tree ship, Izzy was the treasure keeper and I was the lookout," He said snorting lightly "We'd be up there for hours, just enjoying our time alone and making up as many dumb stories as we could." He hummed as he closed his eyes, his glasses weren't on.

"Sounds nice, most of my time as a kid was trying to make friends with snobby brats that wanted nothing but the world bought for them."

"I know the type." Alec mumbled softly, his expression dropping to a saddened look.

"Is everything alright?" I asked hoping that he wouldn't feel I was pressuring him.

"Uh, to be honest, no. But I'm...dealing with it." His voice wavered as he spoke, crushing my heart.

"You know you can talk to me about anything right?" He hummed and nodded in response.

"Magnus?" I replied with a hum of acknowledgement "Have you ever done things you're not proud of?"

"I think everyone has Alec, Why? Is something like that happening?" He avoided my question again.

"Have you ever met someone who knows that they're the problem? Someone who likes being the problem that can't be solved easily."

"Alec, is someone bothering you?" Possessive is the only word I could use to describe my tone, if someone was messing with Alec, potentially one of the easiest humans to get along with, then I would ruin them.

"Bothering isn't the word I'd use. But don't worry about it Magnus, I'm handling myself fine. It's nothing." He leaned against me like he'd a few times before, his head resting on my shoulder like I wish it always did.

"Alec, you don't need to deal with it yours--

"Magnus, if I need help I'll ask for it. But I can handle myself." I wanted to keep pushing to help him, but knew it was best to try and respect his wishes.

"Magnus, can we stay here?" I looked to him with a smile, his relaxed face enough to ease me.

"Sure. How long you thinking?"

He was silent for a few minutes before he sighed lightly "Well...forever, a little world of our own, no school, no pressure, no stress, just the two of us enjoying the peace and quiet." I rubbed my hand down Alec's back, eventually placing it on his lower back, meanwhile Alec wrapped his blanket around my left shoulder, moving in closer to get me in the blanket too.

"Careful, with a world with just for the two of us, I'd run out of interesting stories to tell you."

"You're interesting enough, stories or not." I smiled lightly, running into Alec's lower back as my thanks.

When I heard the door open behind us, I saw a streak of white hair faintly, before the figure flew off "Did you hear that?" I asked Alec, who just kept looking ahead "Nu uh, our world, no one else is here." I wanted to thump him for being so naive, but if it made him feel better I'd do mostly anything.

"I didn't hear anything but you, my mistake." Alexander smiled at this, making me feel good, if I could keep him smiling, I sure as hell would.

"Do you want to know what I like most about not being able to see anything?" He asked after sometime had passed, the sun officially having set, leaving the nights sky a beautiful noir with stars scattered across it.

"What's that?" I asked leaning my head against Alec's, the scent of vanilla radiating from his ebony locks "Well, I have to rely on things other than appearances to get by, I recognise tones and voices how I assume you recognise faces." He said softly, humming to himself hoping his own point made sense, which it did.

"I'm pretty bad at understanding tones over text, also faces of people who I haven't seen in a while" I commented making him laugh softly "I wish they had text readers who didn't sound like they're being held hostage." I chuckled softly "Don't you like hearing that? It's better than most voices." Alec nudged me lightly.

"Of course I don't like it more. It's so robotic and dry. It feels like dealing with my mom when she's tired" Alec said sniggering softly as he made some noises similar to the robotic tone "If they already have celebrity voices for GPS then why not for the text to speech?"

"Wish I knew the answer. Having the terminator talking your messages would be pretty funny." He said with that beautiful smile continuing to be brighter than the moon "Hasta la vista," I said in my best terminator voice, taking the moment to lean in and whisper "Baby." To Alec's ear, the result making the blue eyed Angel shiver and flush, I sometimes wish I wasn't so forward with my feelings toward him, but how can I resist him?

"Whispering in my ear sweet nothings Magnus?" He said jokingly, chuckling as he got more comfortable by moving around a bit "Sweet nothings? Never. I only ever whisper sweet things in your ear." I replied keeping the light tone but meaning more by what I said.

"I'm sure you tell everyone that" He said snickering at the situation that he probably found hilarious "Well, I've told some people it before. But my words hold meaning, meant for a select few" I said honestly, forgetting about the joke that had crashed and burned like a glitchy drone.

Alec had turned to face me now, his face wearing an expression that was somewhat difficult to decipher "How many people have been told those kinds of things?" Alec asked, not so subtly wanting to know about my past "Uh, I don't know if I kept track of how many people I was nice to. All I can say is I'm a hopeless romantic y'know" I said shrugging, was Alec weirded out by me having had a past of relationships?

"And those people are okay with you now?"

"With the exception of Camille, I'm pretty much good with each of them," Alec's lips had formed a small pout "Alec, you okay? You're looking a little jealous" I said in a patronising tone as I reached out and held his cheeks.

"Pft, jealous? Of what?"

"Ouch Alec, you don't need to be so defensive"

"I'm not jealous"

"You seem a little jealous"

"I am not"

"Are to"

"Am not"

"Are to!"

"Are to"

"Am not," I groaned softly "Wait, damn it you're a sneaky, jealous one aren't you?"

"I am"

"Ah ha! I knew you were jealous."

"...Maybe a little." He mumbled under his breath, the pout being more and more difficult to withstand.

"You shouldn't be jealous. You're way cuter than those people ever were." Alec looked like a deer in the headlights as he tried to think of how to respond, his next attempts at speaking just being a bunch of unintelligible murmurs "Now, I think it's time we both got to bed. As much as I love to tease you," I coughed "Look at you" Under my breath "I think it's best we get to bed and be on time for class tomorrow"

"It was one time." Alec said as he stood up, offering me is hand, I accepted and got up easily "And I'll never let you forget it, new or not."

"Whatever Bane" The way Alec says Bane makes me grin, Alexander Bane, has a nice ring to it huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to briefly take this moment to apologise profusely for the delay in another chapter being uploaded. Thus far my summer has been nothing but a busy, rushed mess, but thankfully I now have time to get back to the things that I enjoy most! 
> 
> Next chapter is time for trick or treat.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment if you have anything you'd like to ask, or if you're enjoying the story!


End file.
